forbiddenist

Change.

2009-06-08T07:01:00.001-07:00

....moved to http://www.cyxnide.livejournal.com.

Rawr.

Let the Flames Begin

2009-05-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me a postcard that said "SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE LOVES YOU". There's no sender, just my name and address on the front, and the message on the back. It's a simple piece of orange paper pasted on a piece of card rather crudely.
Who sent it?

Who sent it?

It's a nice thought. Well, depending on how you look at it.

It's either a stalker or someone who's trying to comfort me.

So thank you, whoever sent that card.
I really appreciate it.

And now you've crossed that line

2009-04-08T08:22:00.001-07:00

Can't come back, tell me how does it feel now?

Argh. I don't know how I'm feeling right now.

A soft, comforting darkness.
Reach out, embrace it.
It's all you have.
Because I won't be there.

A challenge. A quest.

I don't know what I'm thinking anymore.

Lost, lost, lost.

And no, I am not emo.
I'm not.

My grandpa'll be fine. I hope. He has to be.
But I guess the hospitalization is a good thing.

My family is slowly being pieced together again.
Slowly, but surely.
I can see it. Subtle, but I can see it.

Or maybe it's just me.

I can see it.

And I'm thanking the heavens.

Life Goes On.

2009-03-29T02:51:00.001-07:00

Life Goes On
悲しい時に「悲しい」と告げるのは　
弱いってことかな
辛いときに「辛い」と　打ち明けていいかな
I've just got to believe.
闇が迫り　行き場失ったとしても
今はキミがそばにいる　迷わずに踏み出すんだ

流した涙はきっと　光る結晶へと変わる
優しく包んで　I'll be with you.×2
キミが教えてくれた　自分らしくあることを
だからどんな時も　信じて進むよ
Life goes on.

ボクがキミにしてあげられることって　何があるんだろう
苦手なことなら　たくさんあるというのに
I am to be with you.
キミの言葉　ふと思い出してうなずく
星が掴めそうな夜　終わらぬ愛を誓おう

流した涙はきっと　光る結晶へと変わる
震える心で　You're by my side.×2
この声が届かずに　諦めそうになっても
握った手だけは　離さず進むよ
Life goes on.

風は絶えず動いて　ボクらの背中を押すよ
時が流れても　You're my sweet heart.×2
瞬く星の向こう　夢見た未来描こう
だからその時は　一緒にいようよ
Life goes on.

I wonder if it’s weak to let you know when I’m feeling “sad”
Would it be alright to reveal when I’m “suffering?”
I’ve just got to believe.
Even if I have no place to go anymore as darkness closes in
I won’t hesitate to step forward because you’re here with me now

The tears I’ve cried will surely become shining crystals
I’ll softly hold you, I’ll be with you (x2)
You taught me how to be true to myself
So I’ll always believe as I move forward
Life goes on.

I’m trying to figure out what I can actually do for you
Seems there’s so many things I can’t
I am to be with you.
I remember your words and nod my head
On a night when the stars are close enough to touch
Let’s make a vow of eternal love

The tears I’ve cried will surely become shining crystals
With a trembling heart, you’re by my side (x2)
Even if my voice won’t reach you and I feel like giving up
I’ll never let go of your hand as I move forward
Life goes on.

The wind never stops and pushes us forward
Even as time goes by, you’re my sweetheart (x2)
We’ll make the future we dreamed about come true beyond the twinkling stars
That’s why we should be together when it happens
Life goes on.

-Chemistry.

Study This.

2009-03-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

I know it's been centuries since I've updated.

Man, I really just can't keep this up sometimes.

It's hard enough to live everyday without collapsing in exhaustion anyhow.

We visited the NUS Museum on Tuesday, Ng Eng Teng's sculptures and drawing and paintings as well as did a tour in NTU's School of Art, Design and Media.

I want to go there in the future. NTU, that is. It seems like good fun.

...and that's Adam with his T-shirt. He was going around showing it off to the whole world.

Quote:

Adam: Hey! Look at my T-shirt!

Girl: *Blank look before giving him a 'WTF' face*

Jingming: ADAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Unquote.

I saw this thing at the art museum, and I was thinking, 'hell, I would totally want one of these things in my studio, if I ever get one.' So I took a photo, in case I forget.

It was fun though.

I went to buy art materials today, for coursework.

Total bill was $44.80? I was heartbroken. And poor as well.

I've also been marathoning Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney on my DS, with great pleasure. I was originally stuck at the Lana Skye case, but I have progressed and moved on. (not that being stuck on the same case for nearly one year is a good thing at all.)

I hope to date Rimei for another karaoke session if possible, and I'm dragging Vincent and his friend whether they like it or not, so that'd mean two sessions in a week? What joy!

I watched Watchmen recently, and it disturbed me a great deal as to how much I liked the guy with the mask that had changing patterns. Royshaq? Roishaque? I have no bloody idea how to spell his name. But it doesn't change the fact that I was actually sad when he was blown up into a bloody mess of guts.

Poor guy.

Well, it really doesn't take a genius to see that the World has problems.

So until next time.

A field of paper flowers

2009-02-15T03:29:00.000-08:00

I think I'm in love.

My heart feels funny.

It's like an overdue dream.

But anyway.

Valentine's Day was amazing.

And I bought a lot of stuff.

I'm feeling richer this year, thankfully. And more girly.

Meh.

He's taking me out to buy a huggable soon.

I'm so happy now I feel bad.

(srsly. They were so cute I couldn't help myself.)

Burn like a Red Lotus

2009-01-28T05:53:00.000-08:00

I want to scream, but no one will hear me.

...Well, actually my entire block would, but that's beside the point.
I'm suffocating.

And I just realised that I bought the wrong shirt to cosplay Takasugi from 3Z.
Kill me now.
Wengchi told me that it was a round neck tee-shirt, but it turned out to be a button up. Which probably means I need to go find a red shirt by tomorrow or the day after.
Bloody hell.
I have a mountain of homework waiting to be touched.
KILL ME NOW.

A little bit of Light

2009-01-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, kenneth.

Aids.

Wow.

...Anyway,

I was called back to school today to clean up the Ceramics Room, which I must say, we did a hell of a job with.

We spent five hours there. With a fifteen minute lunch break.

It was tiring but fun, especially with such great company.

Well, we kinda did some things wrong, (like accidentally cutting up a stupid vine for the wall vinyls).

But we fixed it. And everything turned out good in the end.

Then we went for dinner at the Central - we walked into an expensive looking restaurant (Mr. Curry), and almost couldn't leave because they didn't accept NETS and Jingming couldn't find a UOB ATM anywhere near the vicinity.

I swear my english is burning in hell.

We sat by the river and just talked for about two hours.

And it felt really nice.

Really, really, really nice.

I want to do it more often.

Today wasn't a bad day.

It wasn't a bad day at all.

Before the Daylight Comes

2009-01-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

Perhaps we'll meet again.

In a Shallow Sleep I dreamt I was seeing you
Just how I remembered brimming with tenderness
And somewhere in the calm,
A feeling that nothing had ever changed
Your presence close beside me till I wake.

An artist without a brush
Can't paint upon the canvas
Without you here
There is no colour
-A colourless landscape.

...Distinguish between private goods, merit goods and public goods.

The rashes aren't going down.
At this rate, I'll be stuck home tomorrow as well.
But I want to go K!
*insert sad, pathetic face here*

Argh.
I'm rushing econs homework.
I have no idea how to do it.
Argh.
Market Failure be damned.

Open the Door

2009-01-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

It's the first day of 2009, and I'm stuck at home with rashes, a sore throat and holiday homework.

I hope the rashes go away before Saturday.

I'm going to K again on Saturday.

With Delight and my cousin and other people I don't know.

I hope it's cheap.

Things are better at home now, I guess.

There's still a lot of tension, but I guess I'm getting used to it.

What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, yeah?

I just read Haniel's blog.

And I'm thinking whether I should lock my blog too.

But then I think that it doesn't really matter anyway.

This year'll be tight. I have this terrible feeling that this year is going to be quite bad.

A sense of foreboding doom, you know?

Well, I guess that when you start the year feeling itchy all over you would feel the same.

Maybe?

Humor me.

I'm trying to create my own style for art - improve on my colouring.

It's not easy.

There are people who say I'm talented.

I'm not.

I'm not putting myself down.

It's just that if you've been through what I have for the past eighteen years, you'd be able to do the same, I'm sure. So stop saying that.

I'm not.

Thank you for trying to make me feel better though.

Well.

Let's finish the post with resolutions, shall we?

1) I will pass H1 Math.

2) I will pass Econs.

3) I will not be late more than two times for school.

4) I will get an A for Art, or at least coursework.

5) I will finish my comic.

All right then.

There's a fight going on downstairs. There were people shouting.

Ho-hum.

I hope no one gets injured.

Pain in the form of stabs to your heart.

2008-12-30T05:32:00.000-08:00

It hurts.

I feel that our bonds are breaking.

They're hanging on a single silver thread that's threatening to snap.

I don't want it like that.

I wish there was a way we could go back to the time when everything was fine, and when we were all happy with the slightest care in the world.

I don't want it the way it is now.

It hurts so much.

What happened to the communication? What happened to the communion? What happened to the concern? It's all crumbling in the hands of time, isn't it. Like a time piece made of sand, in the hands of a marble god who smiles at the fate of all who suffer.

Well, I'm suffering.

You smiling, now?

I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can strengthen this paper thin foundation where our happiness rests on. What. Do. I. Do?

Where do I go from here?

Get into University, get a degree, get a good job.

I know.

But.

Yet,

I don't know.

I have no idea.

I died.

2008-12-29T06:49:00.001-08:00

Haha.

Bleah.

I have come back to life.

Yay.

Went karaoke with Louisa, Leonard, Weijie and Edwin.

'Twas great fun.

I was saying that we should all do this more often.

I miss Rimei.

Louisa and I are having a photoshoot on Wednesday, as Takasugi and Otsuu-chan from Gintama.

Hmm. I need to lose weight. Argh.

Maybe I should start jogging or something.

But really, there's hardly anywhere to jog in Chinatown. Ho-Hum. Maybe I'll follow my dad to the gym sometime. I still haven't posted the AFA photos.

...Well, I don't feel like it.

Too bad.

I finally got my hands on Dissidia, and I'm trying to train my Warrior of Light. Story Mode is really hard. Quick battles don't give one much PP, and that stinks. I want to buy all the characters at one go, and I'm too stingy to invest in good weapons. I feel kinda bad for my team. Man, I'm such a lousy player.

Louisa and I were discussing cosplaying Dissidia (if it's even humanly possible) after our A Levels, perhaps the year after, for EOY or something.

Onion Knight is love.

He's so adorable.

...really.

The red is Shocking.

2008-11-27T04:13:00.000-08:00

Busy busy busy busy busy.
I'm flying off to Japan this Sunday and I haven't gotten half the things I need. I also need to finish the draft conceptualizations for the design job I got, and the video panels for the school vid, not to mention my "job"- my chance at actually taking manga somewhere in life.

...

........

Argh.

Fill in the ____ing BLANKS.

2008-11-25T06:30:00.000-08:00

I hope God forgives me for this post.

I'm so ____ing tired.

Tired of your ____ and your "it's good for you" excuses.

Sometimes I think you hate me.

Well, surprise.

I hate you too.

Your jokes aren't funny anymore. I'm not a five-year-old.

You oppress me.

Who the ____ do you think you are?

That at every disgusting bark you let out I'd have to drop everything and come running?

Who.the.____.

You're lucky I was born in this age, or else I'd have killed you a long time ago and laughed over your cold, rotting corpse.

You think you're so great, don't you. So wonderful and reasonable, you say.

It's bull. You're pathetic. I can't stand you. You're pushing us to our limits, and you're blind to your own gaping flaws, instead taking the salt from the kitchen and pouring it into ours.

You think people like you? They're really just patronizing you so you don't give them any trouble. You think people respect you? It's a big, fat joke. You're appalling. Your ____ing self-centered, chauvinistic, retarded, childish antics.

I'm sick of it.

Bad news for you.

You're not GOD.

You can't control my every move. I'm not your ____ing slave, so live with it.

You keep telling us that you don't need us, that you can survive on your own.

That's BULL.

And they say that Global Warming is the fault of cattle with all the ____ that's coming our from your mouth.

Hardy har har.

You can't live without us.

You'd live on bread alone.

You don't know it, but you're turning me into another you.

A you who curses every ____ing night about some ____ or another, talking big dreams without getting any ____ing thing done.

But I'm different.

I don't want to become you.

I'm above that, above you.

You're SICK.

And I can't do anything about it and it's unfair.

I can't stand you i can't stand you I can't stand you.

And because I can't tell it to your ____ing face I have to resort to this stupid post.

If you ever read this, remember that it's your fault.

Every. Single. Thing.

優しい、暖かい物が好きです

2008-10-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

Podium was quite alright today, because I actually had something for them to do. : ) I suppose it's an achievement of sorts, because they seemed to have enjoyed today's session a lot. I should do this more often.

Tough on my part, but whatever makes my members happy.

I changed bits of my Dragon Story, after sitting down at Good News Cafe and talking to Mehreen for about two hours, we came up with a few great ideas to help me in my story telling.

We went for the J2 Graduation Show too, and I'm now convinced that we have some really emotional people in our school, and that their artwork is really cool. I bought some post cards too.

I suppose it's good exposure, and a chance to see what standard we're supposed to achieve.

Funny stuff happened today.

I let Kenneth watch "紅蓮" by The GazettE because I was hoping of making an AMV, and this was what he said:

Kenneth says:

nice

Kenneth says:

haha

Kenneth says:

they've got female guitarists!! Very little nowadays ...

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

umm.

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

they're male.

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

: (

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

the whole band is male.

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

haha.

Kenneth says:

oh ...

Kenneth says:

Okay ...

Kenneth says:

I'm very errr

Kenneth says:

ahhh

Kenneth says:

this is bad

Kenneth says:

: (

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

: )

Kenneth says:

haha

Kenneth says:

Oh gosh

Kenneth says:

thought the lead guitarist was female!?!?!

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

nope.

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

haha.

Kenneth says:

Wow

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

his name uruha and he's just pretty

接続を解除しないでください。 -優しい、暖かいな物が好きです。- says:

very pretty

Wow. Heh.

AFA is coming soon!

How exciting.

Almost like a Dream

2008-10-04T05:34:00.000-07:00

I ran into Vivian today, at the Cathay, on my way to Band Prac. I was really shocked. I almost didn't recognise her. She called my name, and I was like, "who?" and then when it finally sank into my thick skull that I was staring at the friend that I had hardly seen for two years, I hugged her.

I missed her loads.

She gave me her number, and we promised to see each other soon.

And while accompanying Leonard and Weijie to Carls Junior back at Plaza Sing, I ran into Clement, Si Hao, Hengyi and Gerald. Si Hao saw me first, then I saw Clement, and then we just waved. I really wanted to say more, but they seemed quite happy to be on their way, so I just went on mine.

Chance is a funny thing.

I miss them loads, really.

Words can't describe how I'm feeling now.

We tried to figure out "LOVE ADDICT" today, though it was mostly just Weijie trying the rift out and Leonard doing random things because of his lack of sleep (hadn't slept since Thursday, apparently) I was reading "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" on my iPhone, bored, but entertained at the same time. Ah, the wonders of the convenience called the iPhone.

Yik Seng also brought to my attention a fairy tale: http://www.nickbostrom.com/fable/dragon.html

It was alright, I suppose. Well, I am hungry and lacking in sleep, so I shall end my ranting now.

Now.

The Darkness is as bright as the Sun

2008-09-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

I fell down AGAIN today.

I swear it's definitely the shoes.

My knees are still smarting, and I can't really bend my right knee in long pants cause it hurts too much.

I slept the most of today, which I suppose was a good thing, considering the fact that I've been sleeping at 2~3 a.m. for the past week despite exams.

There's just something about Red.

Hmmm.

One more day till my last paper.

Under the Cyanide Sun

2008-09-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

I have hopes of moving out (The pinnacle or somewhere in Queenstown, but only in the year 2010, or something like that) !

And I have two new pieces of work scanned in, one took about three hours to finish colouring, and the other is still in the works after TWO DAYS. It's really not my thing, detail.

I'm really sleepy, and also down to the last paper!

Promos are almost over!

The whole of this year seems like a dream that's going to end all too soon.

I hope the whole of A05 makes it to J2.

I love them so much.

We have also kind of dropped "Cassis" and have set out sights on "LOVE ADDICT" by VAMPS. A lot easier to arrange, but tougher on the vocals? Hmm. It doesn't really make a difference, I guess?

Hooked on NEXUS 4 and Glass Skin and TIME GOES ON.

A log. I am now armed with an iPhone and a little black book to help me capture my sudden moments of inspiration (Should they ever come suddenly).

Cosplay event on the 12 at Central, Clarke Quay! We're doing Axis Powers Hetalia, and I'm doing UK, Wengweng's US, the twins are Italy and Japan, and Wengweng's friend's China.

Wigs.

Hmm, I say.

With teeth as sharp as daggers

2008-09-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hyde's in a new band, and I just ordered the limited edition single....I heard both songs, and they're very.....Hyde. Heh. VAMPS. How cute.

MUCC is coming to Singapore! I never thought any Japanese Rock Band and Singapore would actually fit in the same sentence! I could hardly conceal my glee when Rimei told me. x) I'm so out of touch with the news lately.

@_@

Stupid promos.

My Glass Skin should be arriving soon.

I just saw the video Nexus 4, and I loved it.

L'Arc en Ciel has me neck high in blind love.

...

This is not good.

I was happily talking about how I would just love to marry HYDE (in my conversation with my dear Rimei) when this happened.

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

HYDEEEEEEEEEEE

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

i still wanna marry him

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

xP

Rimei ＊夢は見るものじゃない、夢は叶えるものだ＊ *may not reply....* says:

lol

Rimei ＊夢は見るものじゃない、夢は叶えるものだ＊ *may not reply....* says:

he can be ur dad liao

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

i know

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

: (

接続を解除しないでください。Relive your past glories. http://cyxnide.deviantart.com/ says:

pooh.

*sigh*

Heartbroken, I write this post.

Amidst the Dancing Petals...

2008-09-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

I have a math test.

Such a mood killer, no?

They shipped my DeG single and album already, I hope. I'll be receiving it sometime this week or next.
*Laughs*
This is my 91st post - the same number of submissions I have on forbiddenist on deviantart.
~My Heart Draws a Dream~
Fabulous song, really.

I'm meeting Wengchi at about 530 today, to discuss what to do for the twins' birthday, which would most probably involve us staying up till late at night to get it looking presentable. Heh. I'm meeting up with Travis tomorrow, and then we'll go about the paneling for the first book.

I'm really excited.

I'm aiming to finish about 180 pages? Or maybe 160, if I can't make it.
That means, if I do twenty pages for each chapter, about 9 chapters?

I can't wait. We finished practical lessons for art too, so for today and the next week, we're going to just do SOVA. Which is kinda fun.
It's all a good thing.
I can't wait till promos are over, and A level, so we can get the band working through the holidays, and also start on the pencilling portion, not to mention I'd be closer to the departure date for Japan.

JUMP shop, here I come!

Okay. Yes. If I could I would go to SexPotRevenGe and h.Naoto too. Heh.
I hope my dad sponsors my investments.

Promos is 9 DAYS.
I'm going to faint.

And She Said...

2008-09-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm rushing all my holiday homework today.

@_@

I'll be taking my laptop to school later, so I can multi-task when I'm helping Damien or something. Or stay back in school and study, where I'll be uninterrupted and less distracted.

No, Conan. Thou shalt not win.

I have to rush character sketches too, because I promised myself to have it done by next week, and my Econs essays aren't really going anywhere. And I still have a sketch to do for Ryan for his friend's birthday!

TTATT

My arm muscles are aching really badly from carrying all that crap around yesterday, and I'm still kinda hungry.

: /

Hmm.

AQ was about blogging.

*growls*

.... Art compare and contrast SOVA question.

*dies*

And She Fell to the Ground...

2008-09-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired!

My feet hurt and my body's aching.

: /

I do, however, now own an iPhone.

: D

It's really convenient that I don't have to bring an extra gadget out now, but it's also inconvenient in terms of how to use it - the messaging system takes some getting used to, because they actually have a full keyboard, but the keys are really tiny, and typos are, as Haniel says, "inevitable".

I would post photos if I were not so lazy.

I met up with Cassandra today! It's been a long time since we've met up, and today was extremely fun if not tiring. : ) Had a few good laughs - I was telling her about the time I saw this really hot guy at the bus stop on my way to school - I was running for the bus - (you know, the type that looked as if they jumped out from a CURE magazine? *enter drool*) and she spent about five minutes laughing about it. ~ (-_-)"'~ *cold wind blows*

Anyhow, I should probably get my ass moving on holiday homework and math practice, because I haven't done anything at all. TTATT

Barely even got to sleep in this holiday.

*sigh*

I'm hooked on Detective Conan, or Case Closed, a brilliant manga that I feel like slapping myself over the fact that I did not discover it earlier.

...Hmmm. Somehow that sentence structure seems wrong.

GazettE is love. : D

I heard MISIA is coming to Singapore, and YongXing asked me whether I wanted to go for the concert, but I don't even listen to that genre, let alone her work.

: /

And I also heard of the JB stalking incidents.... and read about them too. Yikes.

Fans in Japan are scary.

I'm also debating whether to buy GazettE's latest single Leech or not, because I already bought DeG's Glass Skin and the full album Uroboros...Dx

...But it's GazettE!!

-_-

*goes to do AQ*

Violence.

2008-08-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

Seriously.
Violence is everywhere.

I fell down today. It still hurts even though it's just a tiny scrape. -__-
It's just been really long since I've felt pain.
I take that as a good thing.

P.E.

Sheesh.

SUGAR PAIN

2008-08-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

I've finally watched my GazettE live, but only half of it, because I've only been able to squeeze in time for the live and bonus disc - meaning the encore disc is still untouched. : (
Ruki was....good.
His vocal range's changed a bit?
His voice sounds higher pitched compared to DISORDER and NIL - Decomposition Beauty even.
Hmmm.
I'm also hooked on their older songs - Linda ~candydivepinkyheaven~, BEST FRIENDS, Shiawase na hibi.....SUGAR PAIN.
Insane goodness. I can't believe I hadn't given these great songs time before.

I feel really hardworking!
I'm studying everyday now. Kinda. Econs, especially. I need to pass it alongside H1 math in order to feel bettEr about doing okay for mid years when I'm actually doing everything for the second time. : /

We had practice on Saturday, and I think we're getting somewhere. : )
WJ still has to practice the solo part's timing, and the bending, and Shirley has to work on the intro part a little, and the chorus needs to be down. Leonard needs to get the tricky part for the snare drum right during verses, and the transaction from verse to bridge.
Other than that, everything sounds okay. : )
I wonder when Leyou can come for practice too. : (

Oh well. Promos is in about five weeks including this one.

We're starting our photography module today! : D

A shame that Damien isn't here. He'd totally pwn us. xP

Cold.

2008-08-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's insanely cold here.

In the computer room in the library.

: (

Isha ran her 2.4 this morning, even though we told her not to, but it seemed that she just couldn't settle for a "nil" on her NAPFA score sheet.

...and now she's limping in so much pain she cries.

It breaks my heart to see her like that, but I kinda did tell her.

: (

We did our GP presentation today too.
I completely forgot about the essay we were supposed to hand up after the presentation itself...
Oh well. Art is with Ms Yeo today 'cause apparently Ms Kwa isn't in school. I don't know whether I should cheer...(well, I technically did, but yeah.)
Life's stinky when you're in JC.

I still haven't watched my DVD because I just can't find the time to.

I think I'm going to fllunk promos.
...
With a capital 'F'.
Or maybe four 'U's.
-_-

I'm waiting for my Dir en Grey album to come in, 'Uroburos'? Something like that. And the single 'Glass Skin'.

...My cramps SUCK.
I hate being a girl.

I wish I was born a boy sometimes.
: (
But then I'd have to go for NS.
Or maybe I'll get a sex change.
-_-
....
Nah.

Cold.

Cold.

I'm so frustrated.
My new N906i doesn't seem to support mp3 files, and it only synchs with WMP on SD mode, when it's only supposed to do so in MTP mode, which upsets me greatly because all the files I try to put in isn't recognised. -_-
I don't think I installed the driver right though, 'cause my computer didn't support the Japanese characters and I couldn't read the foreign chinese characters (that was not Japanese) they displayed.

We're starting the photography module tomorrow.
: )

Isha's telling me about wrong love.

I don't know why, but I don't really understand stuff like that.
-_-

I wanna be famous.

My mum called me crazy.
I laughed and said 'yeah, I probably am.'
My dad said I had 'too many hearts'.
I shrugged.

I don't know anymore.

I owe Travis Character Designs. I think storyboarding should be happening sometime in September or October, depending on how fast I can vomit designs.

I'm tired. I fell asleep in Econs when Mr Phay was teaching. I didn't think that was possible because we love him and his lectures are always entertaining and engaging, but I did.
That's how sleepy I was.
I'm sorry, Mr Phay.

I lost the USB cable for my camera.

I want to kill myself.

I think if I count the number of 'I's in this post I could make a pyramid.

Those really big ones with the secret passage ways.

...

I like pyramids.
....nevermind. I shall stop ranting now.

Happy~

2008-08-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

x)

I got it!

The DoCoMo N906i! x)

And my GazettE Stacked Rubbish Grand Finale is here!! With the poster! xD
YAY.

*jumps around happily*

I'm getting used to the phone now. : )
Heheh.

WeiJie was walking me home tonight when a Trishaw peddled by with the ugly green banner that said "Singapore Explorer", and WeiJie was all oogly eyed and what he said had me laughing for a good three minutes.
"Singapore Exploded?!"

I'm never going to let you live this down man.

Isha and I were in an insane high during Math Lecture, we were counting down in my "three-sets-of-ten-minutes" - a better way (in my opinion) of looking at half an hour. : )

We're getting the toilets and showers near the PE Department renovated! x) And we may also be getting more space in the art room! (FINALLY! SPACE TO PUT OUR STUFF!) And maybe even an exhibition area! *looks hopefully to the sky*

....GTG.
My head hurts.

....PE tomorrow.....
.................2.4.....TT-TT

N906i

2008-08-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

I want.

Like really really want.

...

: D

National Day

2008-08-09T06:07:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving was a blast.

Nothing that I can type here will do yesterday night justice.

Time flies when you're having fun.

But I was s*** scared when I was on at the concourse doing a song that no one but myself and the people who take Japanese understand. D:
I was shaking and I nearly cried after the darn thing.

But I'm kinda happy I got it over and done with, and I don't really care whether I make it into the finals at all. Haha! x)
And I'm now searching for a song that's punk rock for the Naruto AMV that won't leave my creative juices alone. : (
I'm thinking of クローバーby heidi, but the intro and tune for the vocals isn't what I'm really looking for... : /
....And I've also put Abbreviations and my other fics on hold, cause I'm busy and tired.

I went to Natasha's chalet with Tivya today! It was quite okay, I guess. (aside from the fact that I was on a DS for most of the time I was there) Yay. Her Edison piece is still in progress, but it's turning out well? Heh.
Tivya and I were talking and talking and talking about a lot of random things! It was good fun, Tiv! Man I missed her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATASHA! I LOVE YOU!

I changed my blogskin too.
: )
Pink is the new Black.

Eheheheh.

I missed the National Day Parade....: (
Oh well. Not that I was really looking forward to it... : /
I only remembered it when a few people carrying wierd blow-up-paddle-like things and pink and blue goodie bags got onto the train on the way home.
: (
Hmmm.

チョコラチャーの恋愛条件...

2008-07-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

...is so good!

: D

さすがのんたんっスね～

声もエロぽいし、モリモリもそごくカッコイイ！

I spent the whole night downloading it, and the whole of today listening to it. I wish they included the aftertalk too..... TTATT

*sigh*

My hands went through a lot of abuse today!

'Cause we're doing a Sculpture Module this term for art we were doing the newspaper bases, and we had to wrap them in wire mesh, which was prickly and caused a few of us to bleed....but I was smart and taped my fingertips with masking tape so I had little to fear! \(^-^)/

The Principal sat in on our SOVA lecture today too. He didn't look to happy though. : /

We did Rene Magritte and a little on Dede Eri Supria today too. Hah!

They're really cool.

*Awe*

...We have to stay in school till 10 tomorrow, or at least that's what I heard...

Some local poet coming over to talk to us about "Poetry Slam", or something like that? (-_-)"'

Had it over in PJ too.

Oh well. It's the day after the day after my Birthday! : D

Haha! Today was relatively enjoyable.

Passed by pretty quick!

....How time flies when you're having fun.

They spent the whole PE lesson breifing us about the wIll run and walk today...

AND MY DEORART PARKA AND ALGONQUINS PULLOVER CAME IN!

: ; \(^o^)/ ; :

Yay!

Hahaah. They fit! And I think I look okay in them! : D

I can't wait to go to Japan!

I was talking with Shuhui on msn yesterday! Apparently she's shipping stuff back sometime in December, and she's getting us lotsa stones to stick on our phones and mp3 players from the 100yen shop. : D

Alrighty.

I have a breifing for the Japan trip this Wednesday!

......So exciting!

And then I'm meeting Cassandra for dinner on Thursday. : )

Hohoho.

まぁ、これから全部上手く行けそうだね！

来週は試験だけど、どうか勉強してる時間がないし…

（TTATT)　忙しいよ、この一週間！

…とにかく、なんとなるよ。

また今度ね～

Runs

2008-07-14T06:55:00.000-07:00

I nearly fainted today.

I was really scared.
: (

I've got diarhoerra.
In a lot of pain.

Spent the whole day sleeping.
-_-
...and going to the toilet.
Missed lessons.

....Sad.

Don't know whether I can survive school tomorrow.
TTATT

Update!

2008-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Finally. I bothered to charge my camera and such.
Toda-I mean yesterday was Cassandra's birthday!
Happy B'day honey!

We had Pepper Lunch for well, umm. Lunch. After lunch we watched "Kung Fu Panda" which was really good. Hahah. Made me feel all happy and bubbly inside. : D
Then we went to HMV, where I bought my "Are You Ready 2007" for about 31 bucks.

(The Podium owes me about 80 dollars)
I blew 55 dollars on Alice Nine Alpha Band scores in the same week.
...Placed orders for "神様の腕の中 4" too.
I'm SO BROKE this month.
I bought new shoes too.

And what else did I buy?
Hmmm.
Oh yes.
My limited edition DEEP RED PSP.

Yay. I waited forever for it.
And I also took pictures of what I want to stick on my ear phones, but not until I find the right adhesive to get the job done. -_-

Craft cement doesn't seem to be enough.
Also thinking of doing Takasugi for Cosfest, but hell. I'm poor, and Weng weng is poor. D: She wants to do katsura though. Haha. Yay. Good fun.
Yay. We're still thinking of cheap and effective costumes. : )

x)

2008-05-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

Thursday:

Labour Day
I met up with Rimei to celebrate her birthday!
We went to the CashStudio at Apollo Centre, and there was some misunderstanding with the bookings, so we were stuck in one of the older rooms (with songs from BEFORE ALICE NINE WAS BORN) until about 430, when we reached the place at about 230. We sang till 6 though, cause they wanted to make up for their mistake. xP.
After that, we headed to central to eat Ramen. It was really good. Marutama Ramen, if I'm not wrong. x)

My Spicy Chicken Soup Ramen with Pork Belly, Egg and Spring Onions. <3

The gyoza that was swimming in Vinegar. x(

Rimei's noodles. Marutama Soup Base with Char Siew, Egg and Spring Onions.

Haha. We had lotsa fun. :) Even though the day started kinda badly.
Marutama's run by Japanese, so they were taking orders in accented English and communicating them in Japanese, so it felt like we were really in Japan! xD

After that, we went to Kinokuniya at Liang Court (again), and I bought (another) 2 yaoi comic books. TT-TT

Friday:

TRCC Walkthrough

Ratna, Isha, Aleem, Huda, Fatin and I met up at about 9 in the morning for breakfast, and while we were chomping down our burgers (and breakfast set meals) we were also trying very hard to educate Ratna in the issue of Pregnancy. @_@
And China is not beside India. It's more diagonally on top of it - as much as you like to think that way, my dear.
China's not next to Thailand either.

We met up with Samaria and Jamie at Woodlands MRT.
We were kinda late, running into Trendy's class on the bus was slightly comforting. :)
No trouble, no trouble. It was quite fast.
Met up with Natasha after, before I had to go meet Travis, at Chinatown.
Travis was actually quite nice. Hah. I mean, yeah. It was nice talking to him. : ) He was telling me about how I could improve my story, and how we were going to go about doing it. :D
It was really fun. And I'm getting a background artist! xD
...I bought Stones to do Deco on my phone, and I did two skulls that I'm planning on sticking on my ear phones. : D I shall take a picture soon.
Met up with Jee Kiat, Xt and Natasha later in the evening. :D Talked and ate MacDonald's, and walked. :) I miss them.

Saturday:

College Day -cum- Musical

Tired. I'm just really tired now, but I'm still updating, because I feel bad not doing so. :(
We stood for really long. Haha. And we were all sweating in our long sleeved shirts and blazers. x( It was quite chaotic, because there were parents and prize winners and students - J1 and J2. We were trying to get everything running smoothly while looking out for the VVIPs. @_@
I helped serve food during dinner. (The easiest job) xD
We watched the musical after that, and took photos. :)
And now I am tired and sleepy.

So good night. :)

"I'm so Happy"

2008-04-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

“　たった今君達に映る俺は
　とっても苦しそうに見えるかもしれない
　それでもどうか殺さないでくれ
　本当に目を閉じしまうまで　”

Perhaps the me that you see before you right now
May seem to be in pain
But even so, don't take my life away
Until I really close my eyes.

How much of life do we really appreciate?
How much of life do we actually give a chance to love?

I never meant for what happened to happen.

I just wanted you to know that.
I wasn't ready.
I'm sorry. I really am.

...For being such a kid.

But I was sixteen.

But then again,
You're not reading this.

Hospital Visit.....-_-"'

2008-04-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

It was Horribabble.
D:

We didn't want to fight with the old folks for seats on the shuttle bus to SGH, so we walked in.

...and that in itself took up about fifteen minutes, not exactly inclusing the time we took to find Clinic G.

Again, D:

We waited reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long for the doctor, even though we made an appointment at 9, (discount the fact that we reached at about 9 30), and we kinda expected it, so we went to have breakfast, when all of a sudden, they messagedme to say that there were only three patients ahead of me, causing us to swallow our food whole and rush back to the clinic only to find that it was still stuck at the number we left it at.

The doctor was nice though. : )

Well, considering the fact that an appointment with him cost EIGHTY SEVEN DOLLARS excluding medication.

Note price. (Consultation + Blood test) & (Normal X-ray) ONLY.

Behold, the results of my blood test. FOUR TUBES THEY DREW, FOUR TUBES!

My Recent craze into Deco possessed me to buy this.
|
<-

They had a "For Men" section in it. *gasp*!

These look like my head phones. :D

For Guys.

For Girls.

x)

Apparently, a LOT of people didn't turn up for school today. At least a lot of people I know. Heheh.

I haven't finished art.

I'm dooomed. Dx

and there was Clarke Quay.

2008-04-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

I met up with Alison today and we went to collect her Kat-tun Planner at Taka before heading off to Clarke Quay - Liang Court = Kinokuniya.

Hahaha.

We couldn't stop ourselves from buying stuff, so we were stopping each other.

...Am I making sense?

Hmmm.

Anyhow, I bought

:D

This is the post it book we found and fell in love with.

This is how it looks inside.

This memo pad reminded me of the memo pads Japanese Dramas used, so I bought it. xP

メガネで学ラン？？ＷＴＨ？But I like. :D

メガネで病院。:D

TOTAL COST :　Ｌｅｓｓ　ｔｈａｎ　＄５０．
　

Survived.

2008-04-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

I slept at 5 this morning.

-_- I now have humongous eye bags.

We played some game called "Warfare" for the first event, and although the game was designed in a way in which no one was supposed to win, WE WON!

....and I didn't even get to eat the Timeout.

*sigh*

After that we had pizza and then a session with ex-podium members from previous batches, which was immense fun. We learned a lot too. : )
Public Speaking is not easy, really.

Another thing was the Night Walk, a.k.a "Ghost Walk".

I was really freaked out with all the Ghost stories they told us while we were waiting.

The 5 Main Mysteries of SR.

1. The Area near the Basketball Courts
A Taxi Driver apparently died near the Basketball courts, while jogging on the track. He normally jogged at Hougang Stadium, but he decided to jog at SR for that particular weekend, and got a heart attack twice and passed on. SR was a little too much to take for him.
2. The Trees near the New Car park (ex)
I believe they're already cut down, but it seems that a local neighborhood guy decided to commit suicide of one of the trees, and the principal at that time had actually cut down the tree after the event happened, and planted a new tree in its place. But even after that, the new tree had strange things happening to it, it was stunted and there were students claiming they saw stuff there. So the Principal put a boat at that stunted tree, so that no one could go too close to it.
3. The Area Beneath the Old Rock Wall
Apparently about four people have fallen from it and injured themselves severely, but no one has died. (thank goodness). But it seems that seniors that have been on the shost walk w=have seen things over there.
4. The "Invisible Seat" at LT4 (ex)
There used to be a seat in the old LT4 (changed 3 years ago) that no one could see. It was there, but whoever sat in that seat became invisible. Dissapears.
5. The girl's toilet near the Bookshop
Girls don't seem to be able to feel anything near there, but the guys that pass the place at night are completely freaked out. Also, many people slip and fall there, all of them breaking legs, and there's something that "flies" as well. Urgh.

@_@

And we had to pass all these places at about 1-2 in the morning, ALONE.

-_-"'

I was at the first area where the told me I'd find light sticks (which I did, but they didn't help much and didn't tell me where to go next because there were only 2 and they weren't really pointing anywhere in particular) So I went back to the start to ask, but they called me back because the residents nearby complained that we were really noisy and even sent down 3 police cars.

Yikes and thank God.

To tell you the truth, I was praying like there was no tomorrow before the walk.

*sigh*
I fell asleep at about five in the morning, woke up at six thirty, then went back to sleep and woke up at seven plus again, and had roti prata for breakfast. :D

And we had a few rounds of "full name wacko" and "who did it" with Agatha Christie's "Death on the Nile" or something like that. :D
Then we packed and went home!

I want to go to Clarke Quay tomorrow to get some Doujin and Yaoi and Mags. x)
20% OFF!

ハエナ。

2008-04-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

『呼べぬ名前を抱いて
　指折り数える明日は消えない
　耳を塞ぎ聞いてた
　揺り籠揺れる音　
　取り戻せぬ春に　　　　　　　　　紅蓮の花が咲く。』

…どうかな。この言葉大好きになったんだ。

きょうっは凄く気持ち悪がった。誰かを殺したいほどね。
凄くイライラしたんだ、「あの人」に。
家に帰りたくなくなりました。
毎日このようなものと相手して、苦しい戦いだ。

だからこそ、『自分』に問い掛けましたの。

どうして『自分』が生まれたのかな？

この『自分』は一体誰？

悪い冗談じゃないか？

神様よ、
もうカンベンしてくれ。

…カンベンしてくれよ。

「あの人」ハエナだ。
いつも、いつもあの残酷な笑顔を面にして。
いつも、いつも私に悪戯を。

以下減にしろよ。

もう嫌だ。

Update!

2008-04-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

Yay.

I finally changed a skin for my blog, as you most probably have already realised if you've read this page before.

Today was quite an eventful day. Really.

We got high during Math, and I couldn't stop laughing, and it passed on to Ratna and Fatin and Cuihua and Isha thought we were all crazy.
Hahahahahahah.

Haniel was quoting people today.

Goodness me.
I'm so tired.

Podium camp is tomorrow, and they told me to check my e-mail after 10 to receive and show the form to my parents but so far I don't think I've received it yet.

...Yep. Not yet.

...And I just got wind that I need to be in school by 7 tomorrow for some year head thing thing.

W.T.H.

Really.

7??

Oh well. It can't be helped.

My back is really injured. I can't walk to fast or stand with my weight focused on one leg for too long anymore.
Anyhow, I'm going for an SGH appointment next Monday at about 9 in the morning, and from what I heard, I still have to come to school after it. Argh.
My CDs have long arrived, and so I'm tired and hungry and bugged by a cough that is most likely the courtesy of my dear Chihuahua, a backbone that is hurting and an apparent need to sleep early because of the sudden change in school arrival timing.

SLIFJSCJVNUHAIMSJC;ASJVHAGHV;NBK;ASIHSBVKJAUGVJB.

Grrrr.

I hate my home. I wanna mooooove.

And I shall post pictures of the hotel we stayed in last Saturday in my next post because I'm too lazy to do it now.
...And of course, I shall report podium camp. :D
Heheh.
Bleah.

I drew a purty Ruka.
*snickers to self*

Online shopping.

2008-02-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

...is the best thing that man has created. xD
I pre-ordered Alice Nine's "Mirror Ball" and L'Arc's "Drink it Down", alongside a bag from Sex Pot Revenge and another one from Algonquins, and SID's "Sentimental Macchiato" and Gazette's "Guren" (I would type the title in Japanese, but my computer's rebelling.) How exciting! I can't wait till they arrive! xD

*is hyped*

I also bought some slimming cream thing, which i don't even know works or not - but I'm just going to try. Mumsy gave me the thumbs up anyway. xP heheh.

Now, let me share my feelings regarding what my current school is putting me through.

1. We're not even given PROPER tasks, and we're FORCED to tag along with the repeat students, who at least have stuff to do.
2. They CLASSIFIED us as the "Appeal-in-students-from-other-JCs" instead of regarding us as one of them, which we practically are already.
3. They TOLD US that we WEREN'T INVOLVED, only to be told two days later that WE WERE, BECAUSE LAST TIME IS LAST TIME. (WTH?)
4. They didn't even bother to assign us groups to "facilitate", and when we asked, we were completely ignored and given no clear instruction as to where we belong.

I feel so LOVED.

I talked to Rimei on my way home today, and I complained. And she complained. And we both understood each other.
Man, I miss her.
I'm no in charge of helping my cousin with her Japanese, because "I was the one who ot her started on it". *GIANT sigh* Urrrghgah. Tired. Sleepy. Annoyed.
I'm exercising, believe it or not. And I had my first three mouthfuls of coleslaw. Be proud of me, me! X) Hmmmm. I'm still fretting over my sibject combinations....I feel I want to take History, but I need to take Lit, and well, my parents won't let me swap Econs for art, so I have little choice but to just DO what I did last year.

Cassandra and I are going to meet up soon to practice some acoustic songs for some magazine idol competition thing. Heh. And I'm fully booked until next week.
Today: Lunch with mummy and SLEEP.
Friday: Subway Lunch with 1A05 and movie with Tryphena afterwards.
Saturday: Lunch at Wengchi's, which would probably take up the rest of the day.
Sunday: First Service, Jap classes, tuition for Natasha's younger sister and finally accompanying Natasha on a voyage to find a dress.

@_@.

I need my dose of Jrock now. Good night. I mean morning.

....Whatever. -_-

=^.^= <--Wengchi's Catface! xDDD.

Yay

2008-02-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

Online Videos by Veoh.com

I went out with the class today. Well, kinda. I posted a few pictures of the karaoke trip on Valentine's too. Heh. It was really fun! Much love to all the people who were there!! xD

The first video is "Blue Planet" by Alice Nine, second is "Guren" by The GazettE. I LOVE, and I finally found time to share it. Hahaha. . xD

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

2008-01-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

OMG.

I can't believe that I'm actually willing to spend nearly 1000 bucks on a doll.

BUT THEY'RE JUST SOOOOO GORGEOUS!

IT'S ALL THE TWINS' FAULT~!! x'(

I'm in love with Crush Ver. 01! It's just so STUNNING.

And I'm willing to make my own clothes and shoes because everything on the site is almost always out of stock anyway and it's really just too expensive.

BUT I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT ONE! ARRRRRGH.

I couldn't sleep last night just THINKING about having a doll!

I MEAN ..JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!!!

..............WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

I had a stomach ache this morning and so I didn't go to First service. Pooh. Stupid stomach. I'm thinking of visiting Dr.Optics today to see whether I can get non-astig disposable contacts at a good price today. ARGH.I WANT A D.O.D!

Okay. That's enough......Urgh~ STOMACH ACHE~~~~~~~ x(

Why is my life so miserable??? x( I'm supposed to be saving money for Japan, but the sudden STRONG DESIRE for a D.O.D is totally wrecking my plans (as in wrenching them out of my hands, stabbing it and then stepping on it)! HOW! NOW! BROWN! COW!

I need to get a job.

SOON.

Maybe give tuition to primary or secondary school kids. X( BUT HELL I'M STILL IN J1!

OMG. I'm in such a fix. And I also need to lose weight before I go to Japan because I NEED to get H.NAOTO shirts. and pants. and stuff. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

I feel so depressed!!!!!!! @_@

EOY!!

2007-12-15T06:42:00.001-08:00

Wow. I cosplayed for real for the first time in my entire life! Yay me! We took lots of pictures, and we had quite a lot of fun! xD It was really cool, because everyone there was a jrock or anime fan too! Yay! And we worked hard on our costumes! Although mine and Wengchi's were a bit last minute......................I posted photos! Yay! Watch out world, we doin' better next 'ear!!!! xD There were also three other Hibaris there, so next year we'll see how we'll do. x) For more pics, check out my other sites, I guess. Maybe wordpress? I dunno. Maybe. Eheheh.

Edited: More pics on my Wordpress.

Back!

2007-12-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

Howdy! I'm back from Hongkong and kicking with a new blogskin and a lot of stuff to write about and of course, NEW ARTWORK. xD Yay me. I now have a wordpress account as well, and changed my browser to Firefox instead of using IE. Hahah. Wow, that's a LOT of changes, ya?
Hmmm.
My keyboard is running out of batteries.....xp
Hmmmmm.
Well, I bought DVDs and CDs and a pair of boots from HongKong....A T-shirt for cassypoo, a magazine and photos for Natasha, and CDs and DVDs for Weng weng and the twins. A smalll cute little keychain for Shuhui........biscuits for people. Eheh.
Lotsa stuff.
Bought two really nice pens too, and I wrote two new songs, and am trying to find a melody that would stick to them. (which is proving to be harder than anticipated.)
I attended the 42nd JCS Japanese Language School Graduation today (Buffet had GOOD tempura and curry), or should I say yesterday? (because it's already 12:54). Took lots of photos and bought lots of stuff in preparation for EOY at Expo this Saturday with Wengweng. x) I'm dressing up as Hibari Kyouya from Katekyo, and she's dressing up as Gokudera Hayato! YAY! xD
So exciting, right? Right!
We bought a wig, and a vest, and lots of cool stuff. We found a TREASURE TROVE of cool things at Far East today, at some obscure little corner on the 2nd floor! xD Yay us!
I still need a set of tonfa though. And a student council arm band. *sigh* Oh well.
I'm working on Abbreviations (yes, STILL.) and I thought of a new story too! xD Yay.
It's going to be yaoi, and its about this guy who was a lord in the feudal era, who committed suicide with his one true love, to be reincarnated into present-day society as the obscenely rich son and the chief of the gang downtown. But despite all his success, he misses that 'one-true-love' of his life. Little does he know that his one-true-love has indeed been reincarnated into the world, not only a few years earlier than himself, but as a GUY! (seme too.) Would he still love her...I mean HIM? Even though she - I mean HE is the vice-chief of the rival gang? ahahaha.
Oh the drama.
*evil smile*
Well, I suppose I must leave you here, because I need to brush my teeth, change and go to bed. I worked hard on the three pieces up there, ya? Be nice and show them some love. x)

Memories

2007-11-16T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have a few new devart posts, and I'm still working on abbreviations chapter 9, trying to milk whatever I can from my already exhausted brain juices. I've also been running into problem after problem in my personal life, which I will refrain from mentioning here. I'm hooked on D.gray Man as well, a FANTASTIC series, I only started watching it now because I was already hooked on the comic a LONG, LONG time ago. I really tired, and I have a jap exam today, from 7 - 9.10. I hope I pass, really. Ahah. My back hurts. I was a part-time tour guide yesterday - got a call from my friend at about 10 in the morning telling me that he was in the area and he needed help bringing a group of japanese girls around, and since I knew japanese and LIVED there, I could help him. Turns out that the girls WEREN'T his friends, (they were around my age, 17? from Osaka. Came with their school) So, ME, being the wonderful friend I am, decided to throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and head downstairs to help the prince-in-distress. And when I met them, they were a group of FIVE - I was expecting maybe one or two or the MOST THREE, and I was really, really, REALLY uptight, because I wasn't very confidant with my Japanese, but it worked out, because they could understand hat I was saying perfectly, thank goodness. Yay me. Okay, so I thought we were just going to be hanging around Chinatown for a while, and I would be able to go home and finish my comics in no time, but I ended up following them to Little India and finaly Orchard. -_- Woe is me. I am lazy to press the enter key today, as you can probably already tell. I'm really, really, really tired. I'm amazed I haven't committed suicide. Rimei ordered the DrugParty 06 Gackt live from Amazon, Yay! It should be here by today. : ) ....Then there's Alice Nine's ALPHA CD, which I'm getting the twins to help me get from Japan when they go there for holiday sometime soon. ..I'm sarting to be interested in Kiyoharu, and Girugamesh, and MERRY. I heard a few songs, and they're really good. I shall go dig up more. : ) Right now, I;m listening to MUCC, and being happy. Hmm. I stumbled upon the dates theyre adding Gazette's new songs into the cyderDAM systems (for karaoke), and they've pretty much added the whole of STACKED RUBBISH into the system on the 7th of November in Japan, no idea when they'd reach Singapore though. I hope it's soon. Eheh. I'll be heading off to HongKong on the 7th to 12th of December, : ) Eheh. The song in my ear has changed to SID's Otegami. Good song, really. Talking about Otegami, I dun't understand the MV very much. Hmmm. Oh well. MVs and lives are nice though. Prove that the people I go GAGA over are actually REAL and alive and not a figment of my imagination. : ) I want to see a Gazette live before I die, and I want to stand on the same stage as HYDE at least ONCE before I can rest my soul. Ambitious? I know. But I really, really, REALLY, REEEALLYYY hope it'll happen. I know what you're thinking. "Get in line, crazy bitch". I know. I'm queuing already.

Halloween Photos!!

2007-11-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Damn.

2007-10-15T08:26:00.000-07:00

My computer is screwed up.

Totally.

Yes, Sarah, I've been reading your blog.

I'm beyond tired, argh.

I met up with my cousin and her boyfriend Eugene today, and we talked about a lot of stuff, but mainly anime and yaoi and other things that only otakus and anime freaks like us talk about - like our extreme unhappiness with the ODAC cases and such. I kinda hate my home.

.....It's kind of starting to fall apart.

...No, it's been falling apart for quite some time now - it's just never been as obvious.

I like my PS2.

I really do.

And spring Onions in my Bandito Pockett.

And my PSP.

....And my CDs and DVDs and anime boxes.

I finally bought Samurai Champloo.

*is happy*

Is today's post a long one? I hope not.

I just have so much output today, I figure.

I'm listening to Dir en Grey now to alleviate my sadness and anger and whatever other emotion that my brain is not recognising right now. I have so much to do in my December, I realise.

.....Sign up for Salsa lessons, and maybe Kendo.

......Start palnning for the joint comic that the twins, Wengchi and I are planning to publish.

......Get our band together and running while looking for a permanent drummer.

.......Get my music theory right.

........Exercise and lose weight, and maybe get a makeover, because I desperately need it.

I think I use too many dots.

Don't you?

Yes?

No?

I don't care, really.

I'm too tired to really give much of a damn of anything anymore.

....And you're probably too tired of reading such "EMO" stuff from this entry - or this entire page entirely- My heart is screaming bloody murder while my mind absorbs the shock.

By candlelight, these words seem alive.

....Black butterflies on tainted snow.

Vanilla on my tastebuds, black poppies with bloody hearts,

A dagger or stake on the table untouched,

A churchyard with Yews that smile as the Angels cry for us.

Here, on Earth.

On Earth.

Even if you'd let me live, I won't have the power to change tomorrow.

I never will.

Plans

2007-10-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have plans for the future.

(I cheer for me)

Yay. Let me fill you in what has happened in all the time I have not updated.

.....It's not much really, at least, I can't remember much.

My promos are over, and I think I'm going to retain unless they moderate the marks or something, which I hightly doubt they'd do, and I think I'll replace all my 'h's with 'r's until the end of this post.

Wheee.

Rmmm.

I went to Sentosa on Saturday. It was KINDA fun, aside from the fact trat I wasn't very fond of volleyballs, beacres, ralf-naked people wro lie in the sun exposing tremselves to the risk of getting skin cancer.

Rmmm.

My eyes feel like trey's burning out of my sockets anytime soon.

I'm listening to Heidi (this word is an exception because it's a band's name)

It's all very nice, really.

I'm going to Angela's rouse tomorrow, yay!

I can't wait.

It's so exciting. Heh.

We were discussing wrat we may do in the future - Me, WengWeng, Shirley and Angela. : ) We were trinking of setting up a comic shop (and/or) studio and earn money by importing and selling, and if we earn enougr, we'll do cosplay items and outfits too!

So exciting, yes?

Yes!

We're trying to get tre band in tre works as well, which is goin to take some time. -sigh- But nevermind. It's tre effort put in and the result that counts.

I also finished Final Fantasy VII : Crisis Core in 4 days.

It was so tragic the ending!

; _ ;

*laments*

Yay.

Okay, long overdue update complete.

New wallet and a LOT of new stuff.

2007-09-02T23:37:00.000-07:00

Or so I think.

Har har har.

My promos are in about to weeks and I am apalled I still have time to blog.

I've been staring at GP, Math, Econs and Plath for EVER.

I've had enough.

For the next hour or so.

...Grr. Tired and sleepy.

I have a pimple out break and I'm sad and well, TIRED.

I bet you're sick of having me rant about how tired I am, aren't you, me? (Because I figure I'm about the only person who's going to BOTHER to read this post. Heh.)

Yes.

I'm listening to Dir en Grey now.

My stomach hurts.

I got a new cup and a new wallet!

And I tell you the stupid 'w' on this keyboard is screwed up.

Really. You have to hit it EXTRA hard.

Hmmm. I discovered that I can use my PS2 controller to play music games. Heh. I'm also starting on a ne fic that's Sasuke-centric, and would most likely involce Uchihacest and Gaara and Neji as well. Heh. And lots and LOTS of booze and drunk people. Which would probably mean a lot of vomitting and dirty mouths.

Hmmm.

How charming, do you not think?

...Is this a long post?

No?

No.

Okay.

I think I'm starting to go mad. My heart hurts. I'm going back to school for an econs tutorial tomorrow, and a PW meeting. URGENT PW meeting. We haven't even completed our damn written report properly. I mean, seriously. I guess it's kinda my fault too, ya? Oh well. Everything's my fault lately.

*sigh*

I FINALLY watched Cassypoo's TakingBackSunday DVD, to my delight. (I was shoving hot porridge down my throat while I absorbed what was flashing on the screen) It was funny and made me want to go to Australia to pet Koalas and Kangaroos too.

So adorable. Heh.

And tired.

: (

Okay, I think that's enough of me.

: (

2007-08-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. I feel very tired now. Hahaha. I have a GP Compre test tomorrow.

-_-

And my parents are watching me type this.

.........

Oh well. I'm too tired to do anything anymore.

*Sigh*

We had the last session of CO today, and won't be having any more sessions till around December. Hahaha. Woohoo.

You know, Mambo Number 5 is actually quite an easy piece if I practice. Hehehh.

Hmmmm.

What to do? For this Saturday, I mean.

'Cause I'm not even VERY sure that the Japanese High School ...(something something shibuya....) is even HAVING an open house this Saturday! But the primary school at Changi is DEFINATELY hosting the Natsu Matsuri.......

HOW NOW BROWN COW!!!

ARGH.

: ( : ( : (

I'm very sad now. My head hurts.

Inc. Prologue Page 1

2007-08-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's done!! With screentones from skybase from deviantart, I managed to get this done. It's a little crappy, but it was good experience.......

I'll touch up when I have more time!

I was actually multitasking when I did this (Art prep, Gazette and this.)

Yes.

Yay!

I hope I improved. x)

Page 2 will be coming soon, I think!

[link]

Back from the Dead.

2007-08-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

I met up with Natasha, Nicholas, Derek, Huichen and Jackson yesterday. Hahaha. It was fun! x) Heheheheheh. Today, on my way to sunday school, I sa my eigth-floor neighbour's dog pee in the walkway.

Hmmmm.

Alas! I am once again starting to blog! Hahahaha. I went to get the form for JLPT 2 today....I'm going to need to make a tip to the lace where they make passprt photos....whereever it is.....-_-

Hmmmmm.

You know, I kinda realise that I only say "Hmmmm" when I find I have nothing else to say.

Hmmm.

See?

Anyway, I'm going to have to cram very hard for promos.....I don't want to retain.....: / But my math is horrible!

What to do! Argh! Hmmm.

I'm updating the songs on my phone in case my Ipod runs out of battery or something....and I realise it's been quite sometime since I've actually been online for more than an hour for fun. Hahaha.

JC life is killing me.

I'm searching for themes for my phone.

Hohohoho.

I'm so tired I think I'll pass out.
Yeehaw.

The 'w' key on my keyboard has issues.

KILL! KILL! KILL!

No, I'm kidding.

Hardyharhar.

I think I'm going mad.
Oh well.

See you in hell, folks.

Happy Birthday to me!

2007-07-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

Today is my birhtday! X)

I'm happy!

Heheheh.

Tomorrow, we were supposed to hand in our Plath noteboooks, but Mr Sas said it would be fine to hand it in next monday! hahahahaha. Yay! And we were supposed to have an econs test today, but Mr. Lim let us go home to do it! Woohoo.

Went to NAFA today too. Heheheh. I want to do digital art. Ms Yang told me to go back to pencil and pen for a while, so I am. *sigh*
I feel really insignificant.

Oh well.

I had fun overall today, I guess.

It's not the BEST birthday, but it asn't the worst either. And since I'm in such a good mood, I'll post some fics. hehehe. If they're short enough, that is.

Random.

2007-07-22T05:20:00.000-07:00

Create your own Friend Test here
http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/768144 <- MY friend test.

Drugged on Harry Potter.

Grrrr.

2007-07-17T07:34:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired right now.

Hmmm. I want to get a gig sometime soon, but that possibilty just seems so far away right now, cause my band isn;t even READY to play yet. x(

*is sad*

Oh well.

I must work hard.

I'm doing PW now, you know.

Holy Cow Part II.

2007-07-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

OMG.

I'm still anxious! But I keep telling myself, if I want to be a good vocalist, I must deal with stage fright first! Or I may NEVER get that far! x(

Hmm. So I've decided to try my best for tomorrow. YES! Hmmm. Oh well. We'll see what happens. I don't expect to get much other than experience out of this. xP Yay.

I'm really tired now. And a little annoyed, but hell.

Things'll fall in place. They always do. x(

Holy Cow.

2007-07-13T04:34:00.000-07:00

I have talentime tomorrow, and Elango's supposed to help me with the minus ones but he's not online yet! I'm DYING OF STRESS!!!! Grr!
*shudders*
I'm so nervous about tomorrow.
I haven't told Cassypoo yet, or weng weng, or the twins......or anyone else for that matter yet, that I joined my school's talentime and got past the auditions....
OMG.

Three out of four people in my class made it past the auditions, but in other classes, all three people who tried out didn't get in....Mr.Sas said thart this as the only yearwe made his jaw drop....Anywhoo, I have to go eat dinner now...I'll post the second half of this post later. x/

Cosfest!

2007-07-07T08:44:00.001-07:00

Yay. It was soooooo fun! x)) Heheheheheh. There was a Hibari Kyouya and a post-time-skip Sasuke!! xDDDDDDD

*is happy*

Woot. So yes, the pictures are all up there!

Ahahaha, Again.

2007-06-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

＊笑＊　何てね、ブロガーは日本語に変えた見たいんだね。

昨日はまったくお疲れたよ～

昨日はいい日だったんだ～いっぱいやらなきゃな事を完了しましたんだ。何か、中間年の検査とか、私のキャンヴァスの事とかね。すごく嬉しいんだ～＊笑＊　明日は私の学校で中間年の検査の最後の試験からさぁ～早くもとのリラックスのモードにもどりたいんだ。＊ため息＊

私、昨日よね、すごく成功感がもっているの。一日に１２０cm　ｘ　１２０cm　なキャンヴァスを完成しましたよ！わたしの強さはそごくない？ｘＤ　＊笑＊　すごいでしょう？？！

今日はラルク。アン。シエル　のarkＤＶＤ　を見たんだ…面白がったよ～フフフフ。ハイドはやっぱ不思議だね～バンドの成員もカッコいいし音楽もそごいし、何か、羨ましいなぁ～　＊ため息＊

Hello again!

2007-06-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

Hahaha. It is my mid years now, and I have math and lit tomorrow, but I do not plan on revising until later tonight. I just got a new Ipod, I am crazy over new bands, I am desperately attempting to improve my Corel Painting skills, I was to paint realistically, I want to go to Japan, I bought a new puppy on my DS Lite and I am boiling water for my instant noodles now. Wow. That was nice! Let me show you picures of my gadgets and y new Ipod! x) I was also reading Gazette's Member Diaries yesterday night. They're all so cute. x) *is in love*
I'm also starting on a new fan fic that involves almost ALL myy favourite artists from PSCompany~ Heheheh. I'm also doing research on where I can buy cheaper Cds and get them imported from Japan cheaply. Cause if I don't, I'm going to be poor for the rest of my life. TT-TTT Hmmm. Oh well. I guess there's little to be done. J-rock is such an expensive interest. x(

2007-06-12T04:50:00.000-07:00

http://www.truefriendtest.com">
>Create your own Friend Test here

TP Runway. Overdue.

2007-05-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends.

These are my overdue pictures of the TPJC Runway, which happened on Friday night. Yay. It was a fantastic affair, although I must say that last year was a WHOLE lot better and more organised, no hitches, no nuts. *grins* I have just finished watching FMA, because I never DID get around to watching it until recently....Hmmm. I supprt RoyxEd. Yay. I mean, I support them so much I had a dream in which I was Alphonse. (which is NOT as disturbing as it sounds.) My ears give heed to MUCC's HORIZONT, which I am very much in love with. Yik Seng said he was going to perform Spirit Dreams Inside by L'arc. Which is NOT easy, cause he's doing drums.

And my friend is telling me about baby rabbits.

Wheee. I want to buy Alice Nine stuff. Like, their albums or singles, or something. I'm in LOVE. AGAIN. When will this STOP? *sighs*

Oh well. I went to Karaoke on Saturday. I'm in love with Medleys. They're SO much fun. x) Wheee. How eggciting.

AARGH, CHILD PREY, AARGH CHILD PREY, AARGH CHILD PREY.

Isn't Dir en Grey just so cute?

Okay, enough. I'm tired. I just bought a new sketch book today! Wengchi's sick, Shuhui's Physics worries her, Shirley's planning to go to NAFA and Angela's smart! x( Okay. Fine. I MUST FIND SOMETHING TO DO!

Hmmmm. I'm having second thougths about my 'A' Level piece as well now. I've been thinking a lot, about how the storyline must relate to our modern society's problems some way or other.

So I've been thinking up YET ANOTHER story. *evil glint in eye*

Anyway, I have to go now. Dad needs sleep.

Woot.

2007-05-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.

I'm so proud of it.

Go look.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/55636798.

Really. I can't believe I did that.

And about one year from now I'll look back and laugh at it.

*sad face*

Oh well. Hmmm.

I'm tired. And I updated. I'm so happy!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I came up with a list of the stuff I want.

In no order of importance:

1. Apple MAC lappie.

2. Gazette's Namless Liberty Six Guns Live.

3. Hyde.

4. Gackt.

5. Ruki.

6. Alice 9.

7. New socks.

8. Proper drumming lessons.

9. The entire Gazette discography.

10. The whole Dir en Grey discography.

11. Toshiya.

12. Stamina.

13. A Final Fantasy XII guidebook. (one I can actually FLIP)

14. Dir en Grey Band Scores. (Mainly Kasumi, The Pledge, The Final, Namamekashiki ni ansoku, tameria ni hohoemi, Garden, KR [Cube], Kodou.)

15. Gazette's DISORDER Band Scores.

16. A New Phone

17. A New HOUSE, maybe.

18. Money.

19. This month's Shoxx and Arena 37degrees.

20. The knowledge to sew, so I can make my own clothes and NOT blow hundreds of dollars buying them. And shoes.

Hmmm.

That's quite a lot of things, isn't it.

Oh well. Hmmm.

About today.

Today was extremely uneventful.

Really.

I spent half of it playing Final Fantasy XII. And I'm listening to Dir en Grey's Yokan now, very happily. I finished the art piece I linked up there, and I went to the Outram wet market with my parents to buy stuff so they can make dinner tonight................... Which is now.

And the reason why they are sitting in the living room watching TV this very moment eludes me.

*sighs*

I bid thee good evening then. -_-

Poems

2007-05-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

Wow. I'm quite proud of myself now. I have FINALLY found time to blog, and I wrote about nine poems in one night becasue I kinda thought Mrs Beh was going to check our poetry notebooks/ files. Oh well.

Here is a few of them.

Random crap, but it makes sense. Kinda.

Good morning, Mr. Fear

I don’t dare close my eyes
My ears treat silence as its enemy
My mouth is sealed
Like an envelope

Waiting to be opened
My life is wasting
Away like nobody’s business
The butterflies that

Eat at my soul are long dead
Like the soldiers that haunt these grounds
Alas, my heart is stopping
The moment has come

Good morning, Mr. Fear
How are you today?
I am not well
My music calls to me from my grave

Live

My blood is burning
Like a dragon’s fire
Borne of wrath and scorn
And so we mourn

Goodbye, fair ladies
Kind gentlemen
Your venom spreads
Your heart of Lead

Bleed not red,
But a foul, foul colour
A colour that disguises
A colour that smudges

Live, you say
Yet even if I do,
I’m unworthy to change tomorrow
I’m drowning in my sorrow

The world has never changed
War, war, war.
It’s all the same
They only change its name.

Song

Here, my love, I penned a song for you
For your hazel eyes and candy lips
You butterfly wings and pixie trinkets

There, my love, I declared my passion
For your hazel eyes and candy lips
My heart pines for your sweet kiss

Here, my love, I cut off your wings
For your hazel eyes and candy lips
So you would be mine forever more

There, my love, I sold my soul
For your hazel eyes and candy lips
My heart hangs on the branch for the crows.

Frostbite

White, it’s so white
Look how pretty the snowflakes are
How blinding, how pure, the light
That shines in from the window.

The white tree laughs at us
An old woman in a Carnival
Scorning at the children and candy floss
The fluff, the cold, the marvel

Then there’s the scorching red
A flower of fire in a sea of ice
A burning rose with purity fed
The pain, the blood, the murder

Butterfly

Have you forgotten me, my dear?
You with your lovely wings and wondrous grace
Have you forgotten me?
I can no longer spy your face

Have you forgotten me, my dear?
I’ll join you soon enough, I promise
Have you forgotten me?
In your pool of rose petals and bliss

Have you forgotten me, my dear?
My heart was shattered by your dreams
Have you forgotten me?
I pieced it back with glue, sowed back the seams

Have you forgotten me, my dear?
I’ll make sure you remember, the things
Have you forgotten me?
Pulling a pillow over my head, it sings

ROCK ICON

Come on, get high
The drugs, the lust, the lie
I’m your future King
The next big thing
Rock with the music
Sing along with the lyrics
Plaint bodies in heat
Only I can achieve this feat
My blood burns me
I’m blind; can’t see
My flaws and face
Covered by thick makeup, lace
Perfection, at its best
Always better than the rest
Eye liner, Lipstick, red
A toothbrush, food and a bed
Make’s no difference anymore
I’ve given up living; it’s too much a sore
God’s smiling down at me.

...And I have to go back to school during the June Holidays to complete Art and attend extra lessons. -_-

This week's our last week of school before the June Holidays....our school's closing early for the pre-U seminar...

Oh well. I am tired, and I am tired.

Mr Tan says he's going to retire soon.

Oh well. At our expense, I suppose.

I shall leave now.

Good night.

Update.

2007-04-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

I am updating now. Yay me.

And now I shall add pictures, as suggested by Natasha.

Wheee.

Art Fundamentals

2007-04-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

: It's been a very, very, very long time since I've been on this page, and now I'm making up for it. I sit now in the PJC art room, and am typing this now during my free period, because I (thankfully) do not take H2 math. Yay.

I'm listening to 'reila' by Gazette again, for the I-have-no-idea how many-eth time. But it's okay, because I choose to listen to it.

Reminds me of what we said in a debath against A04.
"A choice is an unconfirmed decision, while a decision is an absolute choice."

...Or something like that.

I'm dreadfully bored. I just finished printin gthe PI draft that we're supposed to hand up today; meaning that I'll have the PW period to do rubbish, which is (somewhat) a good thing.
Maths is a lecture today.

I'm almost done reading Neverwhere, another wonderfully addictive book by Neil Gaiman, and I am happy.
Rimei's older brother has returned from the US, and his wife is driving her up the wall.

I mean, who would sell someone else's BELOVED cup to CashConverters without even seeking permission? Seriously.

And now they want her to get rid of her J-rock Magazines, (which I happily agreed to relieve of her) which is probably heart-breaking for her.

She should argue for her RIGHTS.

Seriously.

I'm very tired, and I lost my index pipa playing finger-nail and am afraid, because the conductor is coming today. And I don't know whether to skip CO tomorrow or not for Divya's Secondary School talentime performance.

...'Reila' is ending.

...and has ended.

I'm DREADFULLY bored. But oh well, what to do?

Hmmm. I was playing Final Fantasy XII yesterday night, and found it to be extremely BORING. *sighs*
Hmmm.

Well then. Till next time, dearest online diary.

Overload.

2007-02-28T18:10:00.001-08:00

Whee! Gazette! These are scans from Neon Genisis, a Japanese rock magazine that I blew 30++ dollars on. *sweet smile*

I ALSO paid about 70 dollars for the Gazette NIL album scores. T-T

LORD forgive me.

....Yes, so I am almost compltely broke this month. Like, REALLY.

And I'm supposed to go shopping with my mother later.

....Heh, I woke up at 10 today! .....Accomplishment. xD.

I normally only drag myself up at about 1130 or 1200......But today's SPECIAL! I think.

I had a wonderful dream that had to do with warriors and quests and sorceresses the night before. My mom woke me up with her phone call and I wanted to disfigure someone's face. *sweet smile*

Rimei was telling me about her late shipment of her Onimusha, and she was REALLY, REALLY worked up.

.........What to do? *sighs* I'm a second-hand smoker right now.

I can smell the cigarette smoke from the bedroom. -_-

I'm listening to Alice 9's 闇二散ル桜 right now. It makes me happy. Heheheheheh. Right then.

I shall bid thee farewell, whoever's reading this.

Caine.

Changes.

2007-02-22T22:11:00.000-08:00

I got my contacts a week ago. They're gray, and pretty, and small, and fragile, and cumbersome. Yes. I like my contacts.

I bought a new game for my PSP just yesterday, and it's called MONSTER HUNTER PORTABLE 2nd.

...

It's entirely in Japanese.

My brain hurts from just THINKING about it.

.......

It's violent, troublesome and loud.

Heh, but you can customise your character real nice.

....Besides the point.

I'm listening to Reila now. And thinking about my fanfic.

.........

*thinks*

...

Rigth then. Shan't waste anymore time here. My PSP is waiting.

...Oh, and Naruto Shippuuden ROCKS.

SASUKE~~~~~ ＊ラブ　ラブ　ラブ　ラブ＊

終に本のストーリラインを戻ってきたのだ！

最初のエピソドにサスケが出できましたよ～

＊すごく楽な表情＊

もっとサスケを見たいんだ！

皆も少し大人になるきましたので、我愛羅ももっと格好いいになった！！

あっ！サスケー様～～～！！！！！！！

はい、では、また。

Caine.

2007-02-04T04:47:00.000-08:00

ARGH.

FEEL MY WRATH.

*burns the computer to the ground*

Right then. We went to JJC's Carnival yesterday, and I would have made this post earlier had y computer not let me down.

IT WAS FUN.

Humph. Now I have no mood to tell you JUST HOW MUCH FUN we had.

...........

There (LOOK UP) are some pictures.

島唄

2007-01-31T06:10:00.000-08:00

LOOK! IT'S GACKT!

"WHAT? WHERE???"

*turns around and scans area wildly*

Nah, I'm joking. You get to see Gackt perform a traditional song....

....right here.

Hahaha. That's right, it's BEAUTIFUL.

Really.

Thank you Rimei! I'm sharing the LOVE!

....

......

I'm done talking. XD

Caine.

ハッピーニューエアー！！

2007-01-30T01:53:00.000-08:00

はい、上を見れば解かるはずだ。このポストは新年の為に込めたの。私の日本語は正しいかどうか、正しくないかどうか、構わないんだ、実に。目がもう燃えるらしんけど、このポストは続けます。

ここに謝ります。

両親へ：

ごめんなさい、母さん、父さん。昨年のわがままを許してもらいますか？この私は色々な失敗をしましたけれど、貴方達はいつも私の側にいた。このせいですから、私はとても感謝します。今年も頑張りますから、ご心配なく！

友達へ：

いろんなことがあったんだよね？ありがとう、心からで。私は今年もよろしくおねがいします！こんないい友達がいるだから、私はこんな美しいな人生が生きています。本当に、ありがとうございました。

で、今年のお礼もうしました。

Caine.

お前らも、今年、よろしくお願いしす！！

これからもね。

Cassis.

2007-01-24T03:49:00.000-08:00

(image is from ザクロ型の憂鬱 PV.)

I'm MAD, mad, just obssessed with Gazette's 東京心中 now. It's too tragicly beautiful in my opinion. If I were to rate it, I'd give it a 10/10. Same for ザクロ型の憂鬱. Very nice, very nice, VERY NICE. I like Miyavi's 君に願いを as well! It nearly brought me to tears. : (

The only reason I'm even updating is because I just remembered I have a blog. Not that anyone really cares, but hell. I'm listening to 'Carry?' by Gazette now. Their english REALLY CRACKS ME UP.

So cute~

....Right then.

About my life right now.........

I'm stressing.

...

....

......

Sorry, that's all I have to say. I'm done talking.

Ciao then y'all.

Caine.

2007-01-09T05:46:00.000-08:00

Good evening.
I don't know very well WHY I'm even bothering to make an entry, but I am.

Gackt's drama will be on on NHK every Sunday at 8, at least in SIngapore time. Joy~
I love Gackt. Even if he has terrible hair.
No, really.

I like Ruki and Kai too.

And I believe I have successfully infected Cassandra with my Gazette obssession, which I think is a good thing....?
Maybe.
She's with Mark now, and he seems retty nice, in fact, the three of us had dinner together tonight and all. We went to the arcade.....................
etc, etc.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I kinda feel empty.
........Yes, EMPTY.
That's the only word in my excruciatingly limited vocabularly I can find to express this feeling.
...
I'm listening to HEAVEN by Pierrot now.

It's making me feel more empty than ever.
Caine.

AWAKE, Live.

2007-01-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

今度のポストは日本語でします。

最近だっけ気付けたんですけどー世界に確かにたくさんの争いと戦いがあるの。なぜだろうか？皆同じだろう？皆も人間ですし、どうして無意味な戦いをしますか？

Okay, that's enough. I'm tired, and sleepy, and raking my brain for japanese words is not helping. So I'll do it in English. I hate war. It made Hyde cry. War should be banned.

I don't see the point in futile power struggles with a life as short as man.

....And Gackt's drama's being released sometime this month. : (

...Talking about Gackt, he and Yoshiki (ex X JAPAN) as well as Sugizo (ex Luna Sea) are coming together to form a band. Information courtesy of Rimei. I knew about Gackt and Yoshiki comng together, but I have no idea how they managed to rope Sugizo along as well. And from what I know, all of them are PERFECTIONISTS. They'd probably come up with songs THRITY MINUTES LONG. ...

...

...Nevermind.

...Gackt's vocal, Yoshiki's drums and piano, and Sugizo's guitar.

..........

...

...Nevermind.

I think I'll just stop here.

...

Caine.

Round and Round.

2006-12-12T19:02:00.000-08:00

Hah hah hah.

I want to dye my hair.

They say, 'The only way to get rid of an obssession is to get a new one.' And so I have.

Gazette.

Don't you think they're damn cute?

Hah hah hah.

I do.

I'm currently obssessing over them. Hyde has been put on hold. I'm expanding my Jrock library to Alice 9 and rentre en soi thanks to one very nice Jrock friend introduced to me by my cousin.

Thank God.

A kiss and I will surrender.

2006-12-06T23:03:00.000-08:00

I have just realised just HOW filled with angst I have become. But, I WILL NOT CONFORM! I will not be one of those teenagers who will just sink into their own thoughts and depression, thinking that they are the very center of the Universe and that everyone on the face of this earth should pity them and help them.

I refuse.

But I'm finding it so hard.

I'm wasting my life away, as I sit here typing, I know, I know, I know. But what CAN I do? I can draw, but what difference does it make? I can't do ANYTHING unless I'm given a chance. There are people out there who cannot reach my standard who are more successful than myself. Why? Because they were lucky. I'm trying, I really am, I'm thinking, thinking of ways to make my life that's just about to truly start work. No, not just work, I want to make it work MY WAY, but it's not that easy, now I see. It's hard to try to feel happy everyday. To put on a fake smile everytime someone talks to me so I don't get them to worry, so I don't get them to share my troubles.

Where did everyone go?

Excuse my rambling. I'm not even making sense to myself nowadays.

No, not even myself.

”仲間”という者は、本当にいるの？

で、この人達は私の心の弱くになった時、どこに行った？

How I Disappear.

2006-11-30T04:43:00.001-08:00

And without you is how I disappear, and live my life alone.

Well, so it has been.

I'm not going to say exactly who I'm referring to, because it's hard enough just thinking about it.

I went for Red Camp at Ngee Ann Poly today.

........It was TIRING.

In fact, I'm so tired I can barely move.

And they are SO UNFAIR. The stupid quiz where they gave away free movie tickets was rigged, I swear. They said "Everybody has a fair chance" when they really meant "The MCs will pick whoever suits their liking." I was sincerely unhappy. And when we went on the tour thing of the IT block, they didn't let us explore the lightbox room. But I'm too tired to say more. My throat is really dry from shouting the entire day. I met a few Primary school friends back there... But only like about three? haha. It rained really heavily, and that completely dampened my mood, and so did my dad, but hey, it's alright, cause he always does it ANYWAY. I'm.......ADAPTING. Heh, it's taken me fifteen years to get where I am now, give it about five more and I'll be immune.

But don't worry about me, dear diary. Because nobody's reading this anyway. Well, that's just me. I'm not popular, I'm not pretty, I'm not smart. I don't have a goal in life. I am harboring thoughts of suicide right now.

But don't worry about me, dear diary.

I'll be fine.

I'm always fine.

Caine.

Yahoo!

2006-11-10T06:13:00.000-08:00

XD. I am in bliss at the moment. I just finished most of my major papers today! 'O' LEVELS ARE ALMOST OVER!! *cheers till her arms are so tired they drop off* Right. I'm going for Grad night! I'm going on a Jap Drama marathon after thursday! I'm drunk on Drawn Together! I love Xandir! Hahaha! It's so funny. Seriously. I'm not one for perverted humor, but I actually like Drawn Together. Maths was okay today. Was it becuase I studied? Hahaha. I'm TOTALLY spending a night at an arcade after 'O's. NO ONE WILL STOP ME OR I'LL GUT THEM WITH SPOONS IN THEIR SLEEP AND LAUGH ABOUT IT. haha. Yes. Topazians are having a gathering, I believe! At the botanical gardens. A tea party. With animal masks. I wouldn't miss it for the world. XD. I'm thinking of dye-ing my hair after my exams.....cutting it a 'lil shorter again too. Wanna get coloured contacts as well. Haven't decided what colour though. Oh well. We'll see. I LOVE MCR. Yes. Right. Ciao then.
Caine.

Promised Land.

2006-11-05T01:30:00.000-08:00

Can you believe I haven't updated for so long? Well I can. Hmm. I'm still cramming for Math and SS, but I made time for this when I realised I haven't touched blogger for so long it's no longer on my collection of net addresses when I press the little button that says 'down' on my address bar.

Cassandra didn't know I had a blog util two days ago. *gasp* I thought she knew! I really did! And I'm so sorry Xueting, I DON'T KNOW YOUR BLOG ADDRESS! *breaks down in floods of tears* I CAN'T FIND THE STUPID PHOTOS EITHER!! *decides to hang oneself* I'm really sorry! : (

I'm listening to Promised Land now, by L'arc. And what is the sentence "Devil's walk in Strawberry fields" even REMOTELY amusing? Sure, one pictures little red people with horns prancing around a field with giant red fruits, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Cassandra was laughing when she heard HYDE sing that! *is heart-broken*. Oh well. I've already sat for half of my papers!! Yay! I'm going to see my Primary school peeps soon enough! I'm missing Sam especially. Hahaha! A tea party in the Botanical gardens with animal masks sounds promising. Don't you think?

I have NO IDEA what paper I'm sitting for the day after tomorrow. HAHAHA. What joy. And I'm an O level student.

Someone slap me, please.
Caine.

Howdy.

2006-10-03T06:15:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. I'm currently almost always poor now-a-days.....don't know where my money's flying to. I wrote a story! Yes, it's on fictionpress.net. Go look for it. It be called 'Rain'. No, not the famous korean singer guy, I mean rain as in the little condensed water vapour droplets that turn into clouds and commit suicide by accelerating to the earth at a rate of 10 m/s.
I love hyde! Woohoo.
Been drawing Bleach yaoi lately~
haha, so sue me.

No, on the other hand, DON'T.

hmm. I am debating whether I should post the link here.

Okay, debate settled.

Here you go:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40731917/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40731788/ (explicit)
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40732111/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/40732031/

There. : ) Don't mind my perverted brain, okay? XD
Until next time, Ciao~
Caine

Natasha's Birthday. Celebrated Nation-wide.

2006-08-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

Happily, National Day also happens to be Natasha's birthday.
We went to the beach today, Elvin tagged along, and we had fun. : )

Normally I HATE trips to Sentosa, but I suppose today was alright. We had to queue for really long times, but hell, t'was worth it. We played 'monkey' and volleyball and other wierd games and all, and it was well, entertaining.

This was the party: Natasha, me, Yuting, KaiHong, Huixin, Leanna, Huichen, Nicholas, Jackson, Hengyi, Jee Kiat, Juleen and Elvin. Xueting refused to come because it was the seventh month and we were going near the beach, but it turned out she had other reasons not to go... : )
She stayed home to bake a cake for Natasha! So SWEET. I wish I had a cake made for me... : ( But alas, 'tis not to be....

We made Natasha a HUGE 'Happy Birthday' on the beach using sand today, my arms and legs are aching from all the excercise. We even made a Singapore flag beneath the 'Happy Birthday'. And well enough, she was grateful.

....Well, she'd better be after all I've done for her.

For one, I sang for her yesterday. Most of the songs she didn't understand, but hey, I sang 'HONEY' when she asked for it! Then, I made her one of those cursed model cars, the ones you had to cement together with those little finger-nail polish like bottles? Yes, cost me near 30 dollars and about two days of labour. THEN, I made her that stupid message int he sand I mentioned earlier.

....Yes, she'd better be grateful.

Tired. Shall head to bed soon.

Saishyo kara.

2006-08-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

My birthday present.

Hello again, 'tis has been awfully long since I've done a post, and as you can see, I've been getting awfully lazy. Awfully tired too.
I just had dinner, a very late one, but still, DINNER. I feel as if I'd been sleping for centuries and I really don't feel like moving right now. The only apendages on my body currently excercising are my fingers. *yawn*
I love Hyde.

Right then. As the title says, Saishyo kara, from the beginning, or from the top, or from the first, however you wish to interpret it...Tomorrow's Natasha's birthday...we journeyed to the Cineleisure k-box today, it was quite an enjoyable experience....Xueting was singing fine, haha, it actually sounded like songs you'd find on CDs, and Natasha was rapping like a pro, the chinese geniuses. Gerald was doing okay I guess, aside form the fact that he didn't know how to read a LOT of words from some of the songs they picked. : /

My mum's friend is heading to Taiwan soon, and I hope she can get the AWAKE DVD for me...

Vivian's throwing a birthday bash, and I'm performing, but the problem is that I can't find another two guitarists and a drummer that can stay for the party. It's so stressful.
I mean, I have a bassist, Shirley, but Angela can't make it, so there goes one guitarist out of the window. PLUS, I'm having my mocks this month, I really don;t know how to pull it off. I'm going to have to mug like mad.
But I guess for Vivian, it's worth it.
I wanna be famous, I wanna be a rock star.

And I don't think it's happening any time soon.

Aloha.

2006-06-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

Aloha. Again. Hmmm. I attended some Rock concert called "Youth Gone Wild just the night before, much to my regret.

Why? Well, for one, I had a free Ronin-signed guitar snatched from me and my legs seeemed to forget how to function after all that standing and 'jumping' for about five hours.

It was basically just a gathering of local music, and we were the spectators. Now, I never really had a passion for local music, but hell, some of them were actually good. Well, I must confess, I haven't heard most of the songs they played, but I sang along when I could.

I can practically name all the bands that played there, though I haven't heard most of them before.

Well, first off there's 3dash1, a three-man band that, according to me, possess the potential to make it BIG, bigger than most of the bands so far. I'm actually planning on getting their CD, actually. They vocal and lead guitar kinda looks like Kirito, so I guess taht's another plus.
Then there was Velvet Rose, a band that was alright, I guess. The songs they played were very much my taste, so I pretty much enjoyed the performance they put up. Well, they played MCR! Haha.
Next up was I don't know, Typewriter? Yeah, they're this local band that wrote their own music. They're pretty okay I guess.
West Grand Boulevard. Umm. I couldn't really hear the vocal, haha. Me and Cassandra were up front, so all that reached our ears was the blasting music.
Peepshow, another local band. Apparently, they played during the National Day celebrations. Yeah, they were fun. The vocal had this cute tag, 'I am a sexy musician', and his fans were like shouting and screaming the word SEXY and making catcalls from behind us. The vocal was also flirting with the people in the front row, hitting on the girl beside Cassandra and MAYBE behind me. Haha, but they were great. They actually made me smile.
Umm, next up was Lucid Vapour? Yeah, they were okay. Their vocal was quite cute, and I faintly remember the Bassist loking extremely hostile, but maybe it's just me. Haha.
After them was what? ROnin? haha. Levan friggin' crossdressed. He was wearing this convent girl uniform a bit too small for him with pink shorts and knee-high stockings. and he kissed Cassandra on the lips. haha. Oh well, I shall skip the free guitar part because it'll do naught but upset me.

Yeah, after that Ronin was some Cedar girl band....they were pretty amatuer-ish, but I guess since it's their first gig, it's forgiveable. But we left half-way through the first song...

Yeah, that's about it. Have to go for lunch now.
Ciao.

Faith.

2006-06-21T06:42:00.001-07:00

I have been braindead for a very long time. I suppose it's just the laziness, but hey, my computer DID break down, okay? I'm typing on my BRAND NEW COMPUTER now, a Pluto Viper, it's really fast, using a 19" ViewSonic monitor, and I'm loving it. I bagged a WACOM touch-screen tablet too! I'm so happy~

Hyde's new album has been out a while, and I'm really happy. Watched crazy videos on youtube, and am now slaving over maths during my JUNE HOLIDAYS. How is that just? Has heaven lost its eyes! Oh well.

I LOVE HYDE!

Yes, you hear it enough.

Well then, Ciao.

Back from the Dead.

2006-04-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

I died and came back to life. I am a new soul.

and I lie.

I haven't been active for what seems like centuries, but I suppose nobody really cares. Oh well.

I can now proudly say I admit that I'm a yaoi fan girl.
And I've been drawing Naruto porn.

It'll all be on DEVIANTART soon.
XD
Shuhui's scanning everything for me.
I love her guts.
I'm doing concept for 'O's again!
Mrs Yeow almost but my head off today 'cause I told her so last minute.
Oh well. Gotta rush it.
It'll work out.
It always does.
'Cause I draw about three times faster than normal people.
Oh well.
My dad just brought home a mouse for my lappie last night.
I'm happy.
And sleepy.
And in love with Hyde.
And not intent on doing my math homework anytime soon.
Going for the TPJC runway on the 28th. Can't wait.
I love Shirley and Angela to bits.
I love Wengchi too.
And Elizabeth, and Vivian. And Karen, and Natasha. And Cassandra, and Joan and Berna and Chey and Sam and Erika and Alex and Esther and Diana and Delisa and everyone who knows me.
I blew $53 dollars on stuff on sunday.
Just to get a discount card for SUMAIRU.
I hate myself.
Oh well. Can't be helped now, can it.

I am SO going to hell after I die.
Caine.

Season's Calling.

2006-02-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

It be Valentine's Day tomorrow. I'm going out with Elvin....XD. Okay, okay. Hmm.
I haven't updated in umm. A very, very, very long time, and I'm sorry.
DIRGE OF CERBERUS is out!!! The game (I believe) that is the last installation of the FFVII Trilogy. XD XD X3. Vincent is so hot. And so is that evil guy that goes "kill, kill!!" every five seconds. Hahahahahaha. I'm in the midst of playing Kingdom Hearts II now, just got past Xaldin in Beast's Castle..........stupid Nobodies. ANYway~Ranald said that sometime later in the gameI may be able to use Riku in my party. (OMG RIKU!!!! *enter the hyperventilation*)
I have finally decided to do Fashion Design for my 'O's....and my theme shall be 'Lanterns'. Uwa. So cool, yes? XD. Enough about that, I found Hyde's newest video on youtube.com!!!! "Season's Calling'. It being used for the first opening of the anime 'Blood: The last Vampire'...It's damn nice!! Or maybe it's hust me and my unhealthy obsession.

Tadaima~

2005-12-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

I'm home. Hahaha. I just came back from Hong Kong! Spent almost all five days on Kowloon Island. Shopped a lot. Went to Disneyland. T'was lots of fun! Really! It was just that the mainland people there are A TAD BIT PUSHY. Yep! Hahahahaha! Well, let's see. I bought LOADS of stuff, including Gackt CDs, Kirito's CD and live...Miyavi...etc. I LOVE HONG KONG. Almost everything there is at least a dollar to fifty cents cheaper than Singapore! Well, I'm bakc and I got myself a pair of boots too, so when I wear them out poeple on the train or just walking past me stares like 'what-the-hell-is-she-wearing'? Haha! It's so funny! Well, enough about that. I GOT NEW DRUM STICKS! They're Rikki Rockett ones. They're pretty and have nice handles. XD.
SCHOOL'S REOPENING IN A MATTER OF DAYS AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY HOMEWORK. I'm so screwed. Mr. Kok is getting transferred! Yay! ANYWAY. Hmm. What was I about to say? Oh yes, we'll be getting a new literature teacher soon enough. YAY! Well, well, I'll leave off here. Turra. XD XD X3
Caine.

GLAMOROUS SKY

2005-11-30T01:26:00.000-08:00

A song written by Hyde for NANA. Hahaha. I wish Hyde would write me a song too. *sigh* Well, it's the first time he's written a song for anyone else but himself and his band and his collaborations, I guess. But it's very good, GLAMOROUS SKY. I love it. I wish I could hear Hyde sing it instead of Nakashima Mika. I wanna hear Hyde!! Of course, GLAMOROUS SKY isn't the only reason why I bought the cd. ^^ There's also a song called "ISOLATION" it's gorgeous!! haha. Yes, yes, a good pick for an anime opening.

I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde, I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. I love Hyde. Alright, I think you know that as much as I do by now. Haha. I can't wait for the movie NANA to come out. Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. Can't wait. Wahaha. Ok, I shall stop here.

Wheee.

2005-11-24T04:00:00.001-08:00

Ok, ok, I know it's been a while since I've updated, but yea, I'm making up for it now. Haha. Well, it's four days into my holiday now, umm, more like two weeks and four days, actually, but the two weeks were being sucked dry by extra lessons. Well, I've got a new friend! Her name's Yee Shian haha. She's SUUUUPEEEER nice!! Haha. Fellow anime fan. Hmm. Well, there's also another acquantance name Jefri, but I'm not particularly fond of him. SHH! Don't tell Elizabeth or Roy! Haha!

Umm. I'm gay. Haha. Well, if I was a guy I WOULD BE gay. But I'm a girl, so there. I'm going out with Derek tomorrow. I REALLY don't want to, but I'l probably make him feel bad and besides, he already got tickets to a movie. A movie I've watched once, but nonetheless it's still money, right? Haha. Well, it seems I've gotton over my depression by watching, no wait, DROOLING at Miyavi and Hyde... haha. Call me a stalker! Cassandra sent me a photo of Hyde as a Kid!! SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEE!!!!!!!! It's right there, at the top!! Hahahaah! I also have a picture of him downing spaghetti on the sidewalk or something. So adorable....Okay. I'm officially psycho. I wish I was JAPANESE!!!!

I have hopes of stepping onto Japanese land next year!! I'm so excited !!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Well, I shall end here then. ^-^

sigh

2005-10-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

I have much to complain about in this short period of a few weeks. The first issue is the prohibition of smoking in coffee shops and bars by the government. I have problems. You see, now that smokers can't go to bars and coffee shops to smoke, they smoke everywhere else. Like on the roads, in the toilets, at home, etc, etc. It's polluting public air even more now. How exactly DOES this help to reduce the number of smokers in Singapore? If you don't let them smoke here, they'll smoke somewhere else. What's your problem? Why not just let them pollute one place and leave the rest of Singapore clean and smoke free?
Next issue. Almost every morning, if I'm not late, that is, I get on 961 and I'll be on my way to school. Okay, fine. But the problem is that there is always some guy who has taken off his shoes and rests his feet on the seat opposite from him. What's up with that? Have you any IDEA HOW DISGUSTING that is? And when you just stare at him in hopes of him putting his feet down and sparing a thought for the rest of the poeple on the bus, he GLARES AT YOU. Is it your fault you don't like someone else's foot in your face? I don't think so. I mean, what do you think the impression left on foreign visitors is? I shall say no more.
That's all I have to rant about today. Thank you for not caring.
Caine.

Crucify my Love.

2005-09-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

Crucify my love,
If my love is blind,
Crucify my love,
If it sets me free,
Never know, Never trust,
That love should see a colour,
Crucify my love.
If it should be that way.

It's such a wonderful song, isn't it? It was love at first sound wave.
It's a pity that that band would never ever produce another record again. Well, the vocalist had passed away. In the bathroom of a hotel. Strangled by a towel. With a peaceful look on his face. Wahaha.

I would have published this earlier, but I was lazy and stupid. So there.

It seems so far away, my despair and pain. But somehow, it's all renewed now, seeing my friend's happiness makes me happy too, but somehow it kinda stings at the same time. I keep telling myself that it's a good thing that my friends are so happy, of course it's a good thing. That I should be happy too, be happy with them, be happy for them. Yea, so I've survived.

But then again, what do you care? Inserts bitter laughter.
I mean, nobody really cares, I'm just an insignificant little person in other people's eyes, so there.
I'm questioning myself on why I'm even bothering to update this when nobody reads it.
Habit, I suppose.

"There's so much love in my life..."

I really wish I could say that. I mean, in terms of family and all, I'm truly blessed. But on other issues...Nevermind. It's ok.

I'll get over it.

I always do.

"Virtual Cures"

2005-09-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

Ah, the genius of man. First the wheel, now virtual cures for mental phobias? Ah, how man has progressed since the age of stone. I personally find all this a wonder, how science has shown us so much in such little time. I'm pretty proud of man, I must say. Now we can boast to the other planets and life-forms out there that we can cure mental phobias. :)
However, we still have a long way to go. I must say this is an achievement to medical and psychological science, which is a good thing. Who knows, maybe when I grow up I'll be a psychologist and then I'll be able to execute this wonderful method of treatment to my patients. Or it may be the other way round. At least I know there's a cure for anything traumatising I may ever face on my way to kick the bucket. Ah well, Wengchi told me something today that amused me greatly. It has to do with health. :) Maybe we should wear masks everywhere. It'll be so cool. XD
"Keep fit, Stay Healthy, Die anyway." Hahahahaha. Ain't it cute?
Caine.

"The struggle within Islam"

2005-09-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

"All hail they that do not twist the Lord's word!" Don't sue me for this. It's an english assignment. I really have NOTHING against the Muslim society, but I kinda think that they should wake up a bit. Their capital is in chaos. Seriously. I mean, go ahead and read the article yourself. The current state of these countries is terrible, almost like a war within a war. I mean, isn't it bad enough that "the world has to battle the evil terrorrists"? I mean, the terrorrists claim that they are Muslim, but the Muslim society denies it. So what are you getting at here? You're confusing the world, my dear friends! I agree with what Ishrad Manji says, really, I do. I quote: "I have to be honest with you - Islam is on very thin ice with me. Through our screaming self-pity and our conspicious silences, we Muslims aare conspiring against ourselves..." To me, I think it's all just a mess, and until they sortit out among themselves, there ain't gonna be much peace in the middle-east. There you have it. My view about "The Struggle within Islam". Forgive me for my rude comments. I'm kinda running out of brain cells to use on euphemism. I'm so sorry.
Caine.

"Secrets and Lies"

2005-09-07T04:43:00.000-07:00

I read an article in the Reader's Digest issue for August. The article is called "Secrets and Lies". It's mainly about how most people (more probably men) who lead double lives resort to murder when their big lie has been uncovered. It is....interesting. Call me evil and unfeeling, (we're talking about human lives here!) but I sincerely find all this intriguing.
I mean, how some people have the skill and understanding of human nature and well, a person's feelings and thoughts. I mean, it must take a lot of effort to keep lying to everyone you know, right? I mean, you have to keep everything in place and all, keep everything under control and secret.
I'm not saying it's right, or anything, but I do find it genius. How they are able to keep such a big-scale lie up.
Turning to murder, is definitely wrong, there's no doubt about that. What better way is there than to say you're sorry and repent with all your heart for what you've done wrong?
I suppose they think that there's probably no choice than to kill that person who has found out, becuse there is no way to go back to what their relationship used to be. I don't see any wrong in that.
I guess that's all I have to say for now. I'm going back to school tomorrow and I'm like RUSHING everything now. Well, that's for my slacking. Turra.
Caine.

Ache.

2005-08-28T04:45:00.001-07:00

My body is aching. I went to Vivian's party just yesterday, to celebrate her birthday. Hmm. It didn't turn out very well. I can just say that I felt really awkward and left out, I suppose. So I'm not the most stunning and wonderful thing you've ever seen. Saa. It can't be avoided I suppose. Hmm...I don't know what to say. We played twister yesterday, and it wasn't exactly the most pleasurable thing to do there. We barely ate. We watched Fattah kiss Sihao. We watched Sihao ask Vivian tomarry him. We watched Jovyn try to kiss Sihao. We watched people play pool. We watched little Japanese boys play Duel Master. I almost doezed off at the playground. I was dying of isolation.

I guess that's all I have to say. I suppose there's nothinig more.

...

...

..........

...

My uncle was involved in a motorcycle accident. I hope he's ok. My parents are going to visit him at Tan Tock Seng Hospital now. Hmm...I'll pray for him.
Elizabeth gave me a name tag that had "GRACE TAKARAI" on it. haha. I'm married to Hyde. I'm not feeling very high now, so I shall sign off. Goodbye. Good riddence.
Caine.

More Kirito.

2005-08-19T04:34:00.000-07:00

It would be so much easier if I could just step into some shop and say, "One Kirito, please!" But sadly, there's only ONE Kirito in the world and he claims he's gay. : (

But it is ok. Because I have someone I like. He's not a rock star and all, and there's someone else he likes, but it's alright. As long as he's happy, it's alright.

I'm starting to make this sound like a happy, sappy and mushy love story.

To tell you the truth, I feel very much like issueing violence onto who he admires, but I shall not. Because I'm a nice person. ^_^
And so I shall wait.
My mother says I'm too young for relationships. I kinda think so too, but I just can't help it, you know? I guess that's the trouble being a hormone-driven adolescent. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but THIS SUCKS.

There is a time for everything.

Yea. I agree. So what's it time for now?
Caine.

Kirito.

2005-08-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

Literally, it means "cut person" in Japanese, but it's actually a name. Kirito is the vocalist of Pierrot (the guy in the middle), a new j-rock band I managed to get my hands on. It had cost 43.90.
....IT WASN'T MY MONEY!!!!
It was a gift. ^_^ From Natasha. So sweet, yes? Yes, yes, I love that girl too.

"....ENTERPRISES INVEST LITTLE IN UPGRADING THEIR EMPLOYEE'S SKILL WHILE THE DEVELOPED COUNTRIES FIRMS INVOLVED THEIR EMPLOYEES IN ON THE JOB TRAINING AND SPONSERS RGEM FOR FURTHER FORMAL TRAINING. MANAGERS MAY NOT BE AWARE...."

That came out from my Daddy's assignment. Woot.

Anyway, back to the point.

I like Pierrot. I now know why Wengchi is so crazy about them. ^_^ I'm so happy~
Kirito's pretty~
Elizabeth has a sore eye~
Nahendran owes Khusbu money~
Nahendran is selling his floorball stick~
I'm hungry~
I want a cat~
No, wait, scratch that. I want a Ferrarri 370~
I'm doing this to take up space~
I don't have a cat but if I did I would name it 'Elysium'~
'Elysium' is shakespearean for 'heaven'~
So I would be naming my cat after Pierrot's album~
"HEAVEN the customised landscape"~
Only without the 'customiced landscape' part~
Because cats aren't landscapes~
But if they were, it would be perrrrrrfect~
Caine.

Hello.

2005-08-04T04:39:00.000-07:00

I have found a new love~!!! It is called "Kamui". Not as in "The Power of God Kamui" or "Kamui" as in "Gakuto Kamui", but the comic. Also, I have just recieved book 5 of that series as well as Volume 7 of "Deathnote" and volume one of "WAQ WAQ" . Even though my Chinese isn't very good, I reading Chinese comics. Why, You ask? Hmm... Let's see. It's probably because they're cheaper than English ones and they take less time to be on sale?

So sue me. I love my manga and money.

Had a late lunch with Vivian after guitar lessons... T'was fun...We ate Banditto Pockets at KFC...

Talking about guitar...I think i broke a nerve while trying to hold the stupid chords. Or maybe I've developed a permamnent groove on all four fingers. They were numb when lessons were over. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Girl Talk. I'll tell you a secret.

I have someone I like. Of course I'm not going to tell you EVERYTHING. I'm just going to tell you I have someone I like. In class. Yes. That is all.

And now, I shallindulge in the pleasures of life that the Lord has showered upon me.

MANGA~!!
Caine.

Unsound.

2005-08-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

I'm troubled. I'm Unsound. It breaks my heart. I have a Japanese exam this Sunday that I'm not very prepared for, but it's alright. Because I know somehow or another I'll make it through. I'm fustrated. My heart is bleeding. I have tuition at 4:30 today. I'm not particularly fond of my teacher because she's well.....distant. I'm past page 20 of my comic. I think I failed my Additional Math retest on Functions. But it is alright.
I don't know what I shall say. Umm..
I WATCHED GACKT'S MV OF LAST SONG!!!!!!
This is going to be a very short entry.
And so it is.
I just remebered Elizabeth, Khusbu, Wilson, Jordan and Ranald owe me birthday presents. Life is stinky when you're fifteen. My mom won't stop reminding me to go take passport photos for my I/C. It's annoying. BUT the good thing is that I'll be able to watch NC-16 movies next year~
Elizabeth is listening to "Love letter" next to me.
Khushie's gran just passed away. She's quite sad. She didn't come to school yesterday because she was with her gran at the hospital. Poor thing. I guess she's kinda happy that her gran's suffering has ended. I mean being forced to hold on to life by a machine that's forcing air into her lungs. I heard her gran was suffering from internal bleeding.

God bless her soul.

Caine

Lunacy.

2005-07-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

I have a Japanese exam in two weeks and I haven't studied. I really dont' have much hope of passing. Really. I really don't see any reason in me continuing my course, but alas, I must, for I am learning the language for the sake of my future, should I ever get into a manga college at all. It saddens me, the fact that that hope is ever so far away...

Nevermind about my definite failure, for I could not care any less. If I have it, it's mine. If I don't, then there's no point pursuing something I will never attain. It's a "faith" thing, you know? My Sunday school teacher said that nothing happens to us wihtout a reason. I believe that, really, I do.

Now I shall drift onto my favoutrite subject.
j-rock. Or any other rock-like music genre there is out there.

I shall tell you how I have developed this strange appreciation for people who stand on stages and start screaming their hearts out trying to be heard over the guitar, drums and bass.

And so, I begin. I was exposed to rock when I was in Primary four. Quite a young age, I guess. I thought it was really cool, because it kind of involved vulgarity (I hope my parents don't read this) and stuff. The very first rock song I actually liked was "Slept so Long", by Jay Gordon, you know? The guy from ORGY? Yea, crude name, I know. And so I became so addicted to the "Queen of the Damned" soundtrack (from which I got my daily rock dose)I started to become "punk" like. Thinking it was cool and all. BUT when I enetered Secondary school, I realised that it is pretty okay not to act punk and all. You see, I never really felt comfortable to act punkish or gothic at all, I just wanted to be me. It's not easy, going to a school in which EVERYBODY judges you by what you wear when you go out and all. But then I became interested in J-rock. The very music I cannot live without now. It all started with Gackt. To tell you the truth, I thought Gackt looked a LOT like a woman the first time I saw his video "Mizarables". But then again, I like guys who look like girls. I'm not sure why, but I just find them really nice. Then I found the wonder that is Hyde. He was just really pretty, you know? I first saw him on MTV, and they said he was really good at art but was colorblind and all, so I was really interested. So I started buying their albums and then progressed from becoming a English Rock addict to a J-rock addict. And now I am re-influenced into loving English Rock, or if you would prefer: Alternative rock and punk.

Take MCR (My Chemical Romance, in case you didn't know.) for example. They're a great band that I have discovered only recently. You should listen to them sometime. Their song "Helena" just debuted the MTV hit charts a few months ago. I like their vocalist's eyes. They're so gorgeous~ But I shall not waste my time doing that, I shall continue with what I want to say. Their brand of music is GREAT, except for the occassional "f-word" and all.

Oh, and I downloaded a game called "Feeding Frenzy". It sooooooooooo cute. It's about you eating enough small fish to grow bigger, then eating bigger fish while still crunching on the smaller ones till you become the biggest fish there and are able to eat almost everything there. I guess it's kinda a game of life. If you get eaten, then it's game over. Okay, then. I shall end here and leave you with a gorgeous picture of my first love.
Caine.

Good morning.

2005-07-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

Hello. I hate html. I hate html. I hate html. I don't really have very much to say, but I started this blog as an Englsih assignment. I may be using this in the near future, so yea. The layout I'll give credit to
blogskins and the nice person who let me use it. Must I say more? I really having nothing else to say, you know?
BUT before I move on to the serious stuff that my teacher wants me to do, I shall give you a song~
In the middle of a gunfight,
in the centre of a restaraunt, they say,
"Come with your arms raised high".
Well they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves,
waging this way against your faith in me,
Your life...will never be the same,
On your mother's eyes say a prayer, say a prayer...
Ok then.

1. The happiest moment of your life:
I can't say I have had a very happy time in life so far, but I'm pretty content. I have good friends, a great family and good living conditions and I'm thankful to God for everything I have now. So I can quite proudly say I'm happy almost everyday, except on days when everything just goes wrong like when my math teacher scolded me, my computer hung on me, my wallet and phone got stolen all in one day. But I really doubt all that will happen again...ON the same day, that is. I feel I'm really blessed because I have great memories of the times I have spent with the people I know, and I'm very grateful for everything, and thus I conclude, I don't have a single most happy day in all my fifteen years. Umm...well...fourteen years and six months..

2. Happy endings or Horror Movies?
I would say..........Happy endings. I'd rather cry than scare myself half to death when I PAY to watch some film done by rich people. I really don't see the sense in scaring oneself, really. I don't see the snese in scaring yourself to a point you miss out and the precious sleep your body needs because you're afraid of whatever it is in the dark recesses of your house when there's really nothing there. I mean doesn't everyone like to see happy endings? A couple finally being together? Of course I'm not saying that Horror movies are a total waste of time, (Did I just say that?) but I don't see eyebags particularly appealing. I mean...I don't know. I can't seem to phrase it in a nice way, so I guess I'll end here.

3. Your worst fear?
I'm afraid of a lot of things, but something I'm really, really scared of is.....loss. I've always disliked losing things, and sometimes when I lie in bed at night and just stare into space thinking, my thoughts will always drift to my future. What will happen when I grow up; what will happen when I leave school? And the the thought I fear most comes to me. What will happen if my parents pass? You see, I love my parents very much, and I love my grandparents very much too, so I don't really want to think about losing them. I think about the "spiral of death", like Auron says in FFX, a neverending cycle of death in which all things pass. Someday I'll die too. What will happen when I die? Will I disappear into oblivion? Or will I go to heaven? As promised by the Lord?

4. What was the best book you've ever read?
The best book i've ever read is....a mystery. I don't know what the best book I read was! I've read ever so many good books in my life, so I can't really decide which book to name "The Best". But I really enjoy books by Anne Rice, such as "Interview with the Vampire", "The Vampire Lestat", "Queen of the Damned", "The Tale of the Body Thief". They're all very nicely written pieces of literature. Other books I like include stuuf like "Artemis Fowl", "The Da Vinci Code", "Angels and Demons"...etc. It's injustice to all the authors of the world if you only name one book "the best". Other than english novels, I read stuff known as Manga. Not a lot of people in Singapore really enjoy manga, but it is still an art and a way of storytelling that I really love. I'm probably one of the only people in Sinagpore that can draw proper manga. It's sad how many hidden talents there are (take my friends for example) in Sinagpore that go unnoticed.

5. Someone important to you:
Everyone I know is important to me. Even though there's a saying that no one befriends someone if he or she didn't need something from the person, and even though sometimes it's true, I don't really agree with that saying. It makes me sad to think about how fragile social structures are in the world. I believe this will be the shortest answer to the ten questions here. Or maybe not.

6. Cockroaches.
I will not dwell on this subject longer than I have to. I am terrified of those dark shiny disgusting looking insets. They're probably the reasons why I dislike nature now. I hate and detest cockroaches!!!!! They are the most despicable, disgusting, gross and dirty creatures in the world! When I was seven, I was eating in the food court on the second floor,(you know the really famous one right above the wet market?) And I was having FISHBALL NOODLES. I remember it so clearly. I was HAPPILY ENJOYING MY FOOD when some stupid insect crawled up my leg, into my clothes and down my right arm. I swear that was the moment I was scarred for life. I screamed and started cying as I flung that the monster off my arm. It then went into hiding for a few minutes. And then, IT APPEARED ONCE MORE ON MY FATHER'S ARM!! My dad nearly dropped the bowl of soup he was drinking!

7. The best game you've ever played:
Something by SQUARESOFT. I'll leave it there, because I enjoy most of the games created and published by SQUARESOFT. Take "Kingdom Hearts" for example. I'm practically addicted to the game. Here I am now, awaiting the latest installment of Kingdom Hearts, due this September. Then again, (now that I think about it,) SQUARESOFT is releasing a lot of stuff this September. "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" is also due this September. I've been waiting for this fully animated movie for three years, and if you've seen the trailers and the graphics involved, you'll think it's worth the wait too. Other favourite games are "Final Fantasy X"..probably because it's relatively easy.

8. Someone I used to be close to:
Joan. She's in Singapore Chinese Girl's Schol now, but she used to be my best friend. We met in Primary 1, stayed together until Primary 3, until we split classes. We were both originally in Topaz, but in Primary 3, she got streamed to Ruby. So we drifted apart...until Primary 5. At the end of Primary 4, because of streaming, she got streamed into the same class as me again. We then re-acknowledged each other, and spent almost every moment in school together. Then at the end of Primary 6, when we said we would contact each other regularly, she drifted away from me. But I guess that's ok. I mean, she needs a social life too, so I let it be. Now we only see each other during class reunions.

9. What was the best thing you ever ate?
THE CHOCOLATE AT THE ESPLANADE. I have fallen for the nice sweet sinful thing they sell at the nice place close to the escalator known as "Chocz". I bet they've got some addictive drug in it. They make me feel like eating one after another, but because of the painfully expensive pricetag they have on the sweet little collars, I can only afford to get one at a time. Can you believe how expensice just ONE of them is? Try $5. No wait, how about $6? I can't really remember. It saddens me how little I go to the Esplanade. But it is okay. I shall buy chocolates the next time I go there. Rest assured.

10. Do fish have feelings?
I don't know. Really. I had a fish once, and it didn't really show many emotions other than fear and hunger. When it's hungry, it looks at you with those nice big eyes of its that scream out the command "FEED ME FOR MY LIFE IS FRAIL" and at every other time, It just hides behind the stupid pump. So I can't really conclude that fish have feelings. But that fish has passed away recently, but I had had it for like three years, so I cried. I cry for stuff I'm really attached to. Live with it.

...AND I AM DONE!!!
Caine.